A Losing Battle
by Kairen-Cirrus
Summary: A series of episodes in the development of William and Grell's relationship.  From beginning to end, it is ever a losing battle.
1. Promotion

A/N: This is a collaboration work, written by two different authors. It is taken from a series of roleplays I did with a friend. She writes for Grell, I write for William. You will notice the changes in points of view, and the changes will always be marked with a horizontal line. Reviews are always appreciated, please take note of our different writing styles and if possible, leave feedback for the both of us.

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><p><strong>Promotion<strong>

Grell sighed as she looked into the mirror, tugging absentmindedly at a red lock of hair. She had decided to grow it out, now when she was out of the academy and it no longer was any stupid teacher's business to tell her what was allowed and what wasn't. It fell to just a bit below her shoulders now, such a boring middle-length. It was taking way too long for it to get as long as she wanted it. Just like it was taking way too long for William to get away from that office.

Seriously, the man was glued to his desk! They were out of the academy, had earned their places as proper reapers, been given their glasses and own death scythes and everything. This was their time to finally relax and enjoy their new after-lives! Have some fun! Go out and have a drink! Spend some _quality time_together!

Grell giggled, momentarily forgetting the issue of Will being stuck to his desk. She was so happy that he was the one she had gotten as a partner for that final exam. If she hadn't, they might never have met! The horror! Unless it was destiny. Maybe it was destiny. It probably was. She liked that thought. So romantic~ She and William, _destined _to be together forever, with nothing able to ever get between them...

Well, that was it. She was done sitting around daydreaming. She would have to do something to make it all actually happen, even if she'd have to drag Will from the office by his tie... Come to think of it, yanking Will away somewhere by the tie did sound very appealing... She grinned. Throwing another look in the mirror, making sure her makeup and hair were in place as well as adjusting her own tie, she then stood up and grabbed her long, black coat from the back of the chair. She didn't put it on, just flung it carelessly over the shoulder, not even bothering with the gloves. She'd finished her days work, she didn't need to be properly dressed anymore... not that she ever really was. Not since leaving the academy, anyway. And it was always such a waste, taking such great care in painting her nails her favourite colour just to hide them all day long. Sometimes, she did wonder if perhaps she shouldn't spice up her work wardrobe with just a little more red. Something a bit more eyecatching and flamboyant... But now wasn't the time to think about that!

Stomping off to the door of her room, she threw it open as if it had offended her by being closed and set off towards the office and Will.

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><p>Papers, papers, and more papers had been William's life ever since he had graduated and actually joined the ranks of the esteemed death gods in London. Whereas the others seemed to have more time on their hands now that they were no longer getting grades for anything, William had only become all the busier. The reason: he was being considered for promotion. As soon as he graduated, he was told by his advisor that London was in dire need of new leadership, and that given his attitude and performance in the final exam, he was essentially the perfect candidate. Promotion meant a great deal, of course. It included more responsibility, higher pay, respect from coworkers... Well, he didn't really need a promotion to gain that last part. Unfortunately, training to be next division supervisor meant an enormous amount of paperwork in the interim. William had worked overtime almost every night for the past month, and it was starting to take its toll.<p>

Removing his glasses for a moment, he pinched the bridge of his nose and squinted his eyes shut. There were his usual duties, dispatch work, the paperwork to file along with those dispatch assignments, but added to that were hours of training and hours of extra paperwork. The training he didn't mind, but the paperwork! Sometimes William wondered if the promotion was worth it if it meant so much extra pencil-pushing. As he placed his glasses back onto his face, his office door burst open, and there stood a particular redhead.

The headache that he had been trying to soothe returned with a vengeance and he let out an exasperated sigh. Ah yes, his final exam partner, Grell Sutcliff, who had been clinging to him like glue after since they had taken that exam together. Honestly... William could hardly have believed it when he was told that he was going to be placed in London... with that man. What was worse, Sutcliff seemed to have taken an eery liking to him and had insisted on bothering him as often as he could. Every so often, he would simply burst into his office, always forgetting to knock, and then chitter chatter away about some boring gossip or demand that William spend more time with him. As if he had the time for such frivolous nonsense.

Raising his eyebrows in slight annoyance, he gave another paper a stamp of approval and placed into a growing stack of finished paperwork.

"What do you want, Sutcliff?"

* * *

><p>Grell had, briefly, entertained herself with the little fantasy of Will meeting her halfway, on <em>his <em>way to look for her, asking her to go somewhere with _him_. Asking her out on a date like a proper gentleman would~ Then, she had dismissed this thought, making up her mind about things like being an independent woman able to take care of herself and take charge and stand up to Will and tell him he simply _couldn't _stay in this stuffy office, but that he simply _had _to get out for a while and go somewhere nice in some good company. It was probably a bad idea to mention the word "date". But maybe she wouldn't care about that and mention it anyway.

Mind set and with a determined glow in her eyes, she whirled into William's office. Ignoring anything he might have to say about knocking or whatever, she plonked herself down in the chair in front of his desk, dropping the coat on the floor. She leaned forward as much as she could and accidentally managed to scatter some papers as she rested her hands on the desk, fingers itching to grab a hold of either Will's hands, or his tie, as she had previously thought about. She couldn't help but eye it with slight suggestiveness, and wasn't quite sure herself what held her back. But she _did _have something to say before doing anything... else.

"William." Her tone might have come across as almost business-like and serious, had she not been wriggling slightly in the chair. "I have a suggestion." Okay, so it wasn't really a suggestion, since she wasn't about to take no for an answer... but still. "We are gonna go somewhere and celebrate... finally being out of the academy. Yes. We haven't done that yet." Actually, there had been a graduation party, but there had been no opportunity to spend time with Will at it. Grell wasn't even sure he had attended more than the first few minutes. "I don't mind where we go. You decide." That was nice of her, wasn't it? That way, Will could chose if he wanted to go somewhere public for a nice, simple (relatively speaking, of course) dinner, or somewhere more... private. Grell's nails made tapping sounds against the desk, once again itching to grab that tie. "As long as it's _just _the two of us, of course~." She beamed, batting her eyelashes, and then finally reached out a hand to pull that tie from it's place. She didn't tug at it, though, just kept it in a firm grip, trailing a red nail along it as she peered over the top of her glasses at Will. "So, where to?"

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><p>On any other day, William might have just said no and left it at at that. But for this particular day, he was going to go ahead and say no, just more emphatically than usual. In the past couple of months of working in London, he had grown accustomed to Grell's almost-daily routine of bursting into his office unannounced and demanding something ridiculous or another. It was usually something about dismissing work to go off and do other things, but William simply did not have such luxury. While Grell seemed to be able to prance around the office doing practically whatever he damn well pleased, William's workload was an entirely different story.<p>

He had at least twenty more cases to look through before he could call it a night, and after he was done with all the backbreaking paperwork, he would want nothing more than to just return home, wash up, perhaps read a book, and then go to bed. He wasn't quite sure why Grell was also so keen on going out all the time. Was his home so terribly messy that he hated being in it? Actually, that was a conjecture William felt wasn't too far from the truth.

In any case, he did not appreciate being dictated to, nor having Grell simply grab his person without any regard for his personal space. Gripping Grell's wrist somewhat tightly, in order to encourage him to let go of his grip on his tie, he met Grell's determination with his own.

"Unlike you, Sutcliff, I actually have quite a bit of work to finish before I can go anywhere. So there will be none of this celebration business, there was a party for that after graduation."

William left out the small detail where he had only stayed there for the first ten minutes and then left, not really wishing to partake in drunken karaoke and even more inebriated dancing. William wasn't a fan of parties, just a quiet night at home would do.

"On top of which, I have no interest in going out to places in order to relax. I relax just well enough at home, nothing more is necessary."

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><p>Perhaps if William had known Grell for a little longer, or actually bothered to get to know her more since their first meeting, he might have known better than to... "encourage" her. Not that it didn't work, because it definitely did. Just not in the way Will might have liked. Oh, that strong grip and those cold eyes, and then that deep voice~ 3 By that point, it didn't much matter what Will said as long as he kept talking. Grell made the effort to listen though, just in case he should actually consider her words and agree to them.<p>

Yeah, like that was actually going to happen... Grell didn't allow herself to give up, though. Obviously, she didn't let go of the tie, since she hoped that would result in Will not letting go, either. "Do it later." she said, using what she hoped was a seductive tone. "And that party was a bit too... crowded. Wouldn't you agree~?" In fact, she was pretty sure Will would, even if for other reasons, and that made her smile. But not as much as his next words made her outright grin. Oh, it was perfect~! Maybe he even meant it to sound like how she made it sound in her head. Either way, he had just answered her question and provided them with a place to go of his own choosing!

"Your place it is, then~" And she raised her free hand, wrapping that around the tie as well, deliberating on whether or not she should actually reach up and dare to touch William's face. Too tempting~ One finger reached up and grazed his chin very lightly, wondering if teasing could be a good way to win his attention.

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><p>He was quite certain that he had never encountered any other person that was anything like Grell Sutcliff. Loud, reckless, manner-less, but these were all things that he had seen before. What he hadn't really encountered before this redhead was the complete disregard for personal space. William was more composed than most of the others, who tended to recoil away from the approaching shark teeth and maddeningly red hair, but he still had no idea what to make of it. What cosmic abyss spit out this creature to be so different from everyone else he knew? He had to admit it was intriguing, but right now, it was just annoying. As if doing his paperwork later was even an option! On top of which, he was touching him.<p>

He had to grit his teeth in partial anger at the slight shiver that ran down his spine at the meager skin contact. It was ridiculous. If Grell was doing these things to intimidate him, it wasn't going to work. William T. Spears was not a man you could push around. He was not leaving at that moment, nor would Grell be following him home at any point that evening.

Taking his other hand to grip both of Grell's wrists, he pried them away from his person, perhaps a little more roughly than necessary, and cold green eyes glared down the squirming redhead in his grip.

"You are not, I repeat, you are NOT following me home."

Grell might be intriguing, but it was the sort of curiosity William was content to leave at the office. He was not about to bring this nonsense home, where he was meant to relax and be at peace. On some level, it seemed as though William was the only one that Grell bothered to such a degree, and that was perplexing.

"Why don't you go and bother someone else who actually has time?"

Releasing his hold on Grell's wrists now that they were properly off of his tie, he straightened the barely-loosened knot and took up his pen again. Paperwork might be boring and tedious, but they weren't confusing, which was everything Grell Sutcliff was.

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><p>Grell's features seemed to almost soften a little as she made contact with William's skin. It was odd, really. She had a good eye for handsome people, yes, but no one had just seemed to be good enough for her. Until William came along. Or rather, a while after he had come along, once she had learned a bit about what kind of man he was. And she was determined to learn more. As much as she possibly could, in fact, no matter what resistance William put up.<p>

Actually, the resistance was part of the fun. As Will forced her hands away, oh so deliciously roughly, she squirmed, and small noises of reluctance passed her lips. Until Will fixed her with that cold stare and took up that demanding tone, causing her to fall quiet for a moment, possibly quite content with staying in that strong grip and drown in those eyes and the sound of that voice for the rest of eternity. And as cheesy as her thoughts sounded, they were honest.

And so it was no surprise that she would whine once William let go and returned to his boring work. Pouting, she glared a bit at William after his, frankly, quite stupid question. As if there even would be a point in bothering someone else in the office. They just couldn't handle her like Will did, most of them just found her a freak or plain weird, or both. Some of them might be scared, which Grell might enjoy occasionally, but there were not much lasting entertainment in scaring people. Will, while usually pushing her away and not being very talkative, at least seemed to accept her somewhat. Now, she wasn't going to tell William all that. That would be way too sad and sentimental. But she wasn't going to lie, either.

"But I don't _want _to bother anyone else." she said. "I only want to bother you."

Deciding on trying another tactic, she smiled and leaned forward again, but kept her hands to herself this time, folded neatly together on the desk. "What are you working on that's so important you can't even take a break to entertain a lady, then?" Not that she cared about the paperwork. She just wanted to keep talking.

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><p>Well that was convenient, Wiliam thought. The bothersome redhead wasn't just annoying, he was actually set on annoying just him. And only the powers that be could explain why. Looking up again from his paperwork as Grell leaned in yet again, William took a moment-only a moment-to consider the man standing in front of him, this man who considered himself a lady, who thought himself alluring, who smelled of cinnamon and roses. Grell was looking at him with lying eyes, eyes that gave the impression of revealing his true motives, but they were all just a front for something hidden deep inside. But what need was there to hide? He was strong.<p>

Still, William thought it only polite to answer Grell's question, perhaps it would get rid of him.

"I'm up for promotion, Sutcliff. The generals are thinking to make me the next London Division Supervisor, and unfortunately, that's been requiring quite a bit of paperwork as of late. On top of which, I have training sessions on top of my dispatch work that causes me to get behind on my normal paperwork, thus resulting in repeated amounts of overtime."

William furrowed his eyebrows and placed a hand to his neck, attempting to massage some of the ache out of it from being bent over his desk for too long. Really, the demands that they were placing on him were simply too much. They wanted him to do all of this, and keep Sutcliff in line? That last bit he would never tell the redhead, it was strictly confidential. But one of the deciding factors that had resulted in his recent promotion track was his performance in the final exam, and how he had fared being partnered with Sutcliff.

Even back in the Academy the higher-ups had feared the redhead. He was unpredictable, uncontrollable, he was dangerous. In most of his partner work, he had failed to put forth any semblance of teamwork, and his unfortunate partners had always been scarred afterwards. When they saw that that hadn't been the case with William, they had been impressed. Here was a man who could keep Sutcliff in line, they thought. And so they placed them within the same division, never mind that the members of a graduating class were not all meant to go to the same city, and decided to take action so that William could actually be in a position of authority over the redhead. Not that it mattered. Grell had shown no respect for authority back in school, William was sure that becoming Division Supervisor would not result in good behavior from Sutcliff on its own.

Still, one couldn't really complain about a raise. Not that he had anything to spend it on.

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><p>Grell smiled as William looked up at her again, batting her eyelashes a little. In that moment, she dearly wished she could take a peek into his head and see what he was thinking, rather than assuming it was something along the lines of compliments to her he was too proud to say out loud like she always did. And for once, she really did try. But barely had she shifted to rest her chin in a hand, taken on a somewhat thoughtful expression and tilted her head slightly before the moment was over and Will started speaking again. Grell kept the smile, but huffed mentally. Really now, how was she supposed to get anywhere if he didn't let her?<p>

… She still wasn't giving up, though.

And yet, once she listened to what Will said, she had to fight to keep the smile. At first, she really did feel all those things that one should feel when someone they cared about told them something like that, happy and supportive and encouraging. But then, she suddenly couldn't help but fear that a promotion would cause William to become even more unreachable than he was now. And Grell didn't like that. Not at all. Just the thought of William somehow becoming one of those boring-looking superiors who was always scowling in her direction, dropping warnings and paperwork and more warnings on her desk without even _trying _to pretend like they didn't despise her and only kept her around because she was such an excellent reaper or because they simply didn't dare fire her or whatever...

There was no trace of a smile left now, only a dark, half-mad gleam in her eyes behind the red glasses. But what was she supposed to do? Throwing a tantrum, however violent, which she very much felt like doing right then, wouldn't help. It would probably just destroy whatever little thing it was that made William allow her to burst into his office and bother him as much as she did. She gritted her teeth. That would be so much worse than promotion. This was an occasion where she would just have to pick the lesser evil. That didn't mean something wouldn't break or someone wouldn't get hurt once she left the room, though.

In the end, Will's small movement was probably what saved her from doing something stupid right then, though. The one thought that occurred to her as she saw him rubbing his neck was something she latched on to, and it was somehow enough to allow her to keep her head and push away all previous thoughts. Maybe just because it involved William so much.

She stood up and moved around the desk so quickly she stumbled, and was pretty much nothing than a red and black blur before she stopped behind Will and promptly reached out to put her hands on his shoulders, tugging him back against the back of the chair. She was hardly a practised masseuse or anything, because she obviously had no one to practice on, but she figured it couldn't be that hard.

"Really, they work you to DEATH, Will. I've always said so. But I mean, because you're so good at it, and because they love you, and _because _you are so good at it, they can hardly blame you for taking a break now and then. Others do that all the time, and I don't see them getting kicked out. Remember at the Academy, we could have whole evenings to do nothing on, and sometimes there were rather long breakes between classes too. I kinda miss that sometimes. I mean, I'm glad we managed to graduate and all, and I didn't actually get to know you until the final exam so it _was _rather boring not having you around, but still..."

She rambled on while softly digging her fingers into Will's shoulders and neck, hoping to make some of the pain that might be there go away. And yes, it was just as much a distraction for herself as she hoped it was for William.

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><p>Grell was behind him with his hands on his shoulders before William had even registered that he had moved. Well, that's what he got for letting his guard down, he supposed. But in the instant that he was going to move to bat Grell's hands away, his body relaxed into the redhead's touch, welcoming the reprieve from the aching soreness, no matter who it came from. He couldn't help it. He leaned back willingly in his chair, let his posture slacken ever so slightly, and allowed the redhead's fingers to massage him. It wasn't the best massage, mind you. His fingers were clumsy, untrained, lacking all direction, but the contact still felt great, and William let out an unwitting sigh.<p>

Although the redhead droned on and on endlessly with meaningless words, he managed to drown most of it out as he focused on the soothing administrations instead. So the redhead has his uses, after all.

William let the pen slip from his fingers and rested his hands on the armrests of his chair, content to take a short break before he resumed his work. It was true, overworking one's self was hardly better than slacking off all the time. A short break would mean that he would be refreshed and relaxed, and would be able to do his work more efficiently afterwards. Perhaps he had had so much overtime the past few days because he simply didn't know how to take a break. When he was tired, he worked much more slowly. Yes, this was a good lesson to have learned. Unfortunately, it had come from Grell Sutcliff. But even William's pride could not be bothered at the moment.

Leaning his head back, he actually managed to close his eyes briefly.

All previous efforts to keep his guard up whenever Grell Sutcliff came by was lost. If Grell wanted to, he could easily slit William's throat at the moment. He knew this. But a snarky voice in the corner of his mind chided that if Grell slit his throat, he certainly wouldn't have to worry about the paperwork any longer.

And besides, Grell was currently harmless. Of this, he was about 60% sure.

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><p>"Nowadays, there's just no order, you know? You work day or night, at your desk or off reaping. No organization whatsoever." Okay, so Grell wasn't really one to talk about being organized. Whatever. "Just that part about having to go out reaping and <em>then <em>having to come back and start filling out boring paperwork about it! That's just taking the fun out of the job. And if you try sometimes to properly enjoy work by not filling out said paperwork, there's always some dull guy who comes along and threatens you with this and that, and I'm really quite _tired _of it..."

Grell trailed off, eyes dark again. She continued moving her fingers into William's shoulders, satisfied to find that it had served as a good distraction for him. Unfortunately, she couldn't say the same for herself. While it might have worked for a while as she rambled on while silently marvelling over that Will actually allowed her to touch him, and oh, the feeling of those strong shoulders under her hands and that bare piece of neck that she just wanted to lean down and kiss, kiss, kiss...

If William would become one of _those_... She looked down at him, tilting her head a little as she observed that handsome face, startled to find it so relaxed and at peace. He had never quite... looked like that before. Ever. It was hard to imagine that sweet face turning into one of those superiors. On the other hand, William's usual face... not as hard. Grell glowered. Really, what was a lady supposed to do in a situation like this? It would be rude to try and stop Will from achieving what he wanted, but she couldn't ignore her own feelings and fears either.

Infuriating. Annoying, bothersome. Irritating, frustrating, _maddening_. And Will was just _sitting _there, not even making an effort to read the atmosphere, downright ignoring her and the nice things _she _was doing to _him_! He was probably just relaxing and dreaming about his stupid promotion, all the money it would bring, the 'glamorous' work, how the ladies would treat him once he could tell them he were the new '_London Division Supervisor_', and all the power it would bring...

Grell's hands froze in place as the last piece of paranoia set in, trapping William's shoulders in a tight, angry grip. Of course. Once he was supervisor, _her _supervisor, he could get rid off her. The bothersome, red whirlwind bursting into his office all the time and distracting him from his precious work... the one that had so unfortunately ended up in the same place as him after the Academy. Grell knew it annoyed him sometimes, she wasn't quite delusional enough not to occasionally notice, she usually just didn't care. And apart from throwing her out of his office by force, there hadn't been much he could do to stop her. But one of the reasons Grell liked Will so much was that he wasn't scared of her like so many others. But if he became her superior, he might become the only superior who wasn't scared of her. The only superior with the confidence of knowing he had fought Grell Sutcliff and won.

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><p>Truth be told, he agreed with Grell on a few of his points. Paperwork really was quite dull, and William certainly didn't enjoy it. But whether or not he enjoyed it wasn't the issue. The fact is, they had to be done. Thousands of years of human evolution and the death gods, who transcended all space and time, still hadn't found a better way to keep track of deaths. They were glorified deskmen, on some level. Behind their skills and athletic prowess, they would return back to the office at the end of reaping only to fill out papers and get neck cramps from being bent over a desk too long. But there was some pride in their work, William thought. When it came down to it, he was proud to be a death god. He was proud of the order that he kept in the human world through his work, he was proud of his position, promotion or no, and he was proud of his... glasses. As every death god should be. He had to admit, that particular pride he had inherited from Grell. And so he had been content to let Grell drone on and on about the downsides of actually starting work, but it didn't last long.<p>

Sooner rather than later, Grell's soothing fingers became firmer, angrier, until finally he was holding William's shoulders in a vice-like grip. Perhaps he was angry at the things he had been complaining about, but no, there was silence. And silence with Grell meant that something was wrong. William knew that much at least about the redhead. Opening his eyes finally, William leaned his head back to look up at Grell, who was practically glowering back.

Oh heavens, what dramatic mood swing had kicked in now? He had been pleasantly chatting only a moment ago.

Shrugging his shoulders to try and loosen Grell's grip, he sat up straighter in his chair and sighed.

"What's the matter now, Sutcliff?"

* * *

><p>Grell didn't let go. Of course she didn't. She was too mad to let this pass, and too afraid that her fingers would fly to William's throat if she released his shoulders. She met his eyes, searching for something, <em>anything<em>, that could contradict what her paranoid mind had come up with. At least he cared enough to ask what was wrong, she told herself. But then again, wouldn't anyone in his current position?

The answer to that was no, and it both served to make her slightly hopeful, and annoy her further. Anyone else stuck in a room with a pissed off Grell would've run screaming for the door. But not William. He was just sitting there, calmly looking up at her. Not scared in the slightest. And that was good... or used to be...

She released one of William's shoulders, spinning the chair around to face her but keeping him pinned to the back of it with one hand. The other one was thrown out beside her into thin air, instinctively ready to summon her scythe. She was going to be straightforward. What happened to William depended on his answer, really. Or so she told herself.

"The matter?" she hissed. "Are you planning on getting rid of me? Is that why you're working so hard to get a promotion? 'Cause if that's the case, if I'm that horrible, I could just end your misery right now."

She didn't quite know herself what she meant anymore. Either she were going to stomp out of the office and not come back... as if she would be able to stay away. Or she were actually handing out death threats now... as if she could ever hurt William _that _much... which, at least then, she didn't think she could. Her eyes were angry, dangerous, and that look only intensified as she realised that her voice had just gone from dark and threatening to rather scared and desperate. She wasn't. She had done fine without William before... and she really didn't want to go back to that.

* * *

><p>William's eyes opened wide and his posture immediately went rigid as he felt his chair being spun around swiftly and soon he was face to face with razor sharp teeth in the form of a very upset death god... who was threatening him. William rolled his eyes out of habit. Honestly... as if that were anything to get riled up about. On top of which, threatening one's superiors was never an acceptable action. Had it been anyone else, Grell would have been immediately expelled from whichever department he had been in. But since it was William, Grell would suffer no such results. At least, not today. But the accusations were far from the truth, and William sighed as he adjusted his glasses.<p>

"What in the world are you talking about?"

This was a feature of the redhead William could never quite understand. On the one hand, he sometimes thought that the redhead's mind was completely empty-headed and that he went about his day without a care in the world. But it was times like these that it became obvious just how often Grell thought about the most useless things. His head wasn't empty, it was overflowing to the brim with nonsense ideas and groundless worries. William wasn't sure how anyone managed with such a chaotic thought process, but there it was. Was he really so terrified of not being able to work in London? It wasn't as if this city was that particularly great. Looking up at Grell with stern, unmoving eyes, he briefly explained the situation he was in.

"Even if I wanted to get rid of you, the superiors won't allow it. They're the ones pushing this promotion onto me because I'm the only one who can handle you, so I might as well have an actual position of authority over you."

Then frowning and closing his eyes, William adjusted his glasses once again and let out a small tsk of annoyance.

"I think you already know how much I despise doing more than necessary. What in the world made you think I wanted this promotion?"

At this point, it had just become part of his routine so William didn't really think about it. But had he had a choice in the matter, he wasn't sure that he would have taken it. At least, not now, not so soon. He was a new death god! He had only been on duty for a few months! Did the higher-ups really think that Grell was that dangerous? As far as William could tell, he was just a redheaded lunatic with slightly violent tendencies. Nothing he couldn't handle, it wasn't a problem for anyone with a backbone, really.

* * *

><p>Well, finally, there was a bit of a sane reaction from William. Of course, it ended just as fast as it happened, and then he was rolling his eyes. At her! When she was so clearly upset too! He simply did not care, did he? Her fingers curled around thin air, around the handle of a scythe she very nearly willed into existence. And then William raised his hand and adjusted his glasses.<p>

There was something very special about those frames. The first time Grell has seen them on William's face, she had been completely sidetracked, and though she since then had gotten used to them enough to not constantly just stare, it wasn't always as easy to keep her head straight as she pretended. They just did something to those cold eyes that made them even more gorgeous than they already were. And whenever Will would raise his hand to adjust them in that special way only he could... Now that, Grell still hadn't quite gotten used to. And so she was momentarily stunned, her expression frozen somewhere between anger and awe, long enough to hear what William said next.

Well, who would have thought. Those superiors she had spent the last minutes silently criticising wouldn't _allow _her and Will to be separated! But that must mean they would _always _be together! As long as they were Shinigami, as long as they worked in the office, as long as she stayed the way she was and kept everyone on their toes... She would just have to make sure that would be forever, like that romantic destiny she had imagined earlier. Yes~

And he had said _even if he wanted_... which meant he didn't _actually _want to get rid off her! Oh, it was all kinds of perfect! The thought of William as her superior, ordering her around, suddenly brought a whole other bunch of mental images, and this time she liked them. A lot. So much, in a fact, that she suddenly smiled again, which might have been a slightly disturbing change to watch. Not that Will did right then. But Grell was just fine with that, because for a moment, he wouldn't be able to see what she was doing and stop her.

She sighed, breathing out what was left of the paranoia and anxiety, and put the hand that had just reached for her scythe to William's cheek. For a very brief second she kept it there, before she removed it and without warning threw herself into Will's lap. Quickly, she resumed her massaging of his shoulders, still trying her best despite the slightly more awkward angle.

"I'd be sad if you didn't want me around anymore, you know." she said, voice normal again. "And I'd be sad if _you _weren't around, because frankly, everyone else is just no fun. I thought maybe you saw this promotion as an opportunity to leave. But now when I know you don't~"

She smiled again, trying to meet William's eyes this time. Surely, he was going to shove her off his lap at any moment, but now when she knew that even the dull superiors for some reason wanted them together, it would just really be William trying to fight a battle he couldn't win. But if she won, she was sure Will would realise sooner or later that he would get quite a lot out of that too.

* * *

><p>William sighed. Grell really did think of the most useless things. And most of the time he did useless things. Right now, one of those useless things was plopping himself down into William's lap to continue massaging his shoulders. As if such closeness was absolutely necessary to do that sort of thing. Not to mention, Grell was now completely obstructing him from doing the paperwork he needed to be doing at the moment. But William mentally rolled his eyes at himself. Who was he kidding, he wasn't going to touch that at this point. The workday was already over and he had gotten most of it done. What little work he had left wasn't worth the extra hour of overtime just so that he wouldn't have to do it tomorrow morning. He was tired and ready to go home.<p>

And Grell's closeness, though unnecessary, wasn't unwelcome. The warmth of another body pressed close was actually quite soothing in some ways, and he was beginning to appreciate the thoughtful gesture Sutcliff was putting in at the moment. As Grell went back to his normal sing-songy voice and spoke about useless things again, William fought another eye roll and raised a questioning eyebrow. Grell thought he had been working for this promotion on purpose for the sole purpose of leaving? Whatever gave him that idea? Adjusting his glasses, William dutifully explained the circumstances, as he was inclined to do.

"For your information, I preferred London most when they asked us our preferences of places to work at. They tend to be a bit more lenient about policy-breaking at this place, and have little to no expectations of its workers. In case you haven't noticed, it's not just you, but the entire department that's a little prone to rule-breaking. Even Eric Slingby, who's our senior, has a tendency to always get citations for property damage and such. But less expectations means less pressure, and that's an environment I much prefer. Honestly though... immediately sticking me into a management position... do they really think you're THAT dangerous?"

* * *

><p>William didn't shove her away. That made Grell pause for a small moment just because of how unusual it was, but then she quickly resumed the massage, figuring that was why Will allowed her to stay close for once. Or, just maybe, he was actually starting to give back a little. After all the attention she bestowed upon him, that would only make sense, right? As self-centred as Grell was, it was already astonishing that she bothered to pay so much attention to someone else, and even more astonishing that she kept doing it even though he pushed her away so often. Everything else she took an interest to usually only kept her entertained for some weeks at most, and then she'd get tired of it. But she could never get tired of William.<p>

She beamed as he adjusted his glasses again, and didn't manage to keep back the tiny giggling. She kept the big smile, and her eyes were bright and curious, as if she actually cared about what he said for once. But right then, she did, because she was hoping to catch something else she could possibly twist into a compliment or confession or something else along those lines.

Grell had picked London because she had managed to find out that that was were Will wanted to go, so that wasn't news. But the big, quickly growing city had also appealed to her, since there would probably happen a lot more interesting things there than in some smaller place. She hadn't know about the lenient rules, but now when it was mentioned, she figured there might be some truth to it. Though she still thought they were too strict, of course. But what William said made sense, as was usually the case, and she kept that mildly interested look as he went on, though she found herself a bit more concentrated on his shoulders than his words for a short while. That was, until he fell silent and his last words properly got to her. Her eyes narrowed, and she averted her gaze for a moment.

She knew she scared people. She had done so from day one as a Shinigami, and she liked to think she had done so even before that as well, just by being herself. Sure, sometimes it was annoying that people cowered and avoided her whenever she walked into a room, but it was also an excellent way to judge who was worthy of her attention and who wasn't. Most of the office wasn't. William, and a ridiculously small number of others, were. And it gave her a feeling of being in control, which she preferred to be... except when around Will, who had been a glaring exception to everything she knew since they had first been paired up for the final exam. And now, he was doing it again, because no one had ever dared to assume, and in an almost mocking way too, that she wasn't dangerous. Strangely enough, when it came from Will, she didn't get any sudden urges to threaten and scare her point across. Instead, it seemed like a new exciting challenge had been presented to her. Just maybe, Will didn't need to find her scary in the way others found her. Maybe he couldn't after that one fight. But there were other ways she could be dangerous in.

Her eyes glittered, playful and seductive and mischievous all at once, and she relaxed her fingers on Will's shoulders and drew her hands over his suit to grip his tie again, holding on tightly enough to stop him from pushing her away immediately. Then she leaned a bit closer and flashed her teeth in a smile that could easily fit on the face of a mad serial killer.

"You wouldn't know, would you, Will~?" she purred. "You didn't know me back at the Academy. But if even our superiors fear me, don't you think they must have a good reason? Maybe they're getting anxious because I've been so nice for a while now~ I guess I should say sorry for being the cause of this promotion and all this overtime, huh...?"

But instead of properly apologising, she just leaned her head on Will's shoulder and winked, sneakingly extending a finger and finding her way underneath William's collar with it, gently tracing his collarbone. Then again, in Grell's mind, that was a pretty good way of apologising.

* * *

><p>William's earlier point still stood. He did not see how Grell was considered dangerous by any death god with a backbone. And although he hadn't known Grell at the Academy, he could guess that the redhead was about as dangerous as he was now, and that really was only as dangerous as one allowed him to be. All it took was a firm hand. Grell was one of those people that pushed people further than they had previously been pushed. And when they didn't know how to respond, they simply let him be. This resulted in Grell's personality turning into one that assumed that he could walk all over anyone and remain unopposed. But if he hit a brick wall, he didn't really know what to do. Certainly William had no problems handling him, he shouldn't see how the higher-ups would have more trouble than him.<p>

When he thought back on it, he had heard the rumors just like everyone else. Grell Sutcliff, the name rang through the air like a disease the way some people said it. The way others said his name made him sound like an urban legend. They had called him manic, dangerous, unpredictable. There were rumors that he had nearly killed another student during a practice round of sparring, and had cackled maniacally as he had spilled that student's blood everywhere that he could. People whispered that he would threaten the instructors into giving him the grades that he wanted. And when he had received his partnership assignment, his fellow classmates had shrunk in horror, wishing him luck and promising to weep at his funeral. Honestly... he really hadn't even been that bad.

After the first little argument that they had, William quickly learned what Grell's fighting style was like. It was embellished, fanciful, Grell enjoyed making the fight look like a show almost as much as he enjoyed fighting efficiently. His motions were big and sweeping, it wasn't much effort to be faster than he was. And that's all it had taken, really. Surely the higher-ups could fight at least that well to keep their employees in line.

The only thing that might have been irksome to William was the complete disregard for personal space. Perhaps it was because of how he carried himself, but people didn't generally cling all over him or make physical contact with his person. Other students, who would gladly give each other pats and brotherly hugs would recoil from William, deciding that he was a man who would not appreciate being touched, that stern men were meant to be kept at a distance. And William hadn't minded, so it had always been that way. But now here was a person who was certainly not intimidated by him in the slightest and thought that it was fun to break all of his boundaries, boundaries that he hadn't even known were there.

Right at this moment, William was learning that his boundaries weren't terribly bothered by another person sitting on his lap and massaging his shoulders, as odd as that seemed. The closeness wasn't really an issue. Grell was just another body after all. Sometimes bodies got that close in a crowded elevator, for example. However, he was also learning right at this moment that he didn't really appreciate Grell tracing his collarbone like that. It was oddly sensitive to touch, and he immediately snatched Grell's wrist tightly, pulling it away from his skin on reflex. Perhaps he was holding him a little too tightly, but all of a sudden, William was far more aware of his body than he had been two minutes before. He felt like his heart was pounding his ears for some strange reason, and he felt his breathing wasn't quite as regular as it should have been.

But in response to Grell's teasing about being the cause of his overtime, he had a simple, controlled response.

Pushing Grell swiftly off of his lap and unceremoniously onto the floor, he then adjusted his glasses coldly, despite the redhead's whining complaints that he knew were soon to come.

"Now that you mention it, you are the reason for all of this promotion nonsense. As such, it is reasonably within your duty to now leave my office, and allow me to finish said overtime. Otherwise, neither of us are going to get out of here at a decent hour."

Swiveling around in his chair then, he resumed the steady signing, stamping, and sorting of papers. It was only a little bit left. Perhaps if he worked quickly enough, he could be done within the next half-hour. Well, he could only hope. That was assuming he wouldn't have Grell hanging over his shoulder for that time.

* * *

><p>Grell prided herself on being quite the seductress. Any man, and in some rare cases a woman, that she might find attractive would at least once fall victim to her approaches. Usually, they cowered and tried to avoid her, as if that were some kind of default reaction to her very presence. But sometimes, rarely, they would react differently. She would get close, grab a tie or other piece of clothing, fluttering eyelashes and smiling coyly, being either very straightforward or almost timid, depending on what mood she was in. She could get a blush in response, or a sudden, long silence, or, if the person didn't know her very well, quite a lot more than that. Though young for a Shinigami, she didn't really consider herself inexperienced. She knew the signs, knew what to look for.<p>

William always seemed in control, calm and collected, every move he made carefully considered. Even when she took him by surprise, he wouldn't be very startled, but just either sigh and accept her being there for a while, or promptly pry her off. This sudden, seemingly almost instinctual move to grab her hand was very different. Not to mention she actually winced at the tight grip, which she knew William was aware of was unnecessary. Despite her reputation, she was far from the physically strongest Shinigami around. It was speed, ruthlessness, her skills with most scythes that happened to end up in her hands, a lack of morals and the fact that she ignored the rules that made her such a vicious fighter.

But Grell was too busy watching William's face to bother about her wrist possibly bruising a little. Was she imagining it, _wishing_for it, or was he a little less composed than usual for a moment? What was that emotion that she saw flash in his eyes for a short second? And the breathing... the raising and falling of his chest underneath her free hand, it was different... irregular, slightly quicker than normal.

It dawned on Grell at the same time as she was pushed to the floor, and she fell into a clumsy heap at William's feet, too stunned to try and soften the fall with her hands. She let out a small, startled sound without thinking much about it, but that was as far as any whining went. What William said went straight over her head and she didn't hear a word of it.

_She had just managed to seduce William._

It was something that had never happened before. At least not in this way, where she had been able to notice it. And now, she suddenly had no idea of how to proceed. She wasn't going to stop, though. Wing it, she told herself. It had worked so far. This was one small victory. One or two more, and William would be hers. Especially now when it was confirmed that he did feel something, after all...

She got to her feet, pulling a hand through her hair to make sure it was still in order, the other one adjusting her glasses, which had become slightly lopsided after the fall. Looking up to find William with his back to her again, she smiled, genuinely just happy to have finally gotten something back for all her trouble. And then, making sure that her heels made no sound against the floor, she stepped closer and then quickly leaned forward to press her lips towards the area just below William's ear. She pulled back at once though, not wanting to risk getting stabbed by William's scythe, though she still very much looked forward to his reaction. After all, while invading his personal space was something she did daily, and little touches wasn't uncommon, she had never actually attempted a kiss before.

* * *

><p>Just when his breathing had resumed normalcy, right when he had assumed that pushing Grell to the floor would have been enough to get him out of his office for the day, he felt the quick presence of soft lips on his jaw, right beneath his ear. And just as fast as he had felt it, the lips had been removed, but something still lingered. Uncontrollably, which was a state William extremely disliked, he clapped his hand to the spot, covering it as though that would somehow undo the action. His heart was pounding in his ears again and a his eyebrows were deeply furrowed. Although he was a man incapable of blushing, his ears were becoming a dangerous shade of pink. What had just happened?<p>

His thoughts swarmed at a mile a minute, asking questions such as, why Grell would do such a thing, why was he reacting this way, was this sort of behavior even normal? All the same, he tried to calm his breathing and his mind. Grell was usually a clingy person. He had broken all manner of personal space boundaries in the past, this was only a slight addition to what he normally did. Who did that sort of thing though?

William didn't know it, but he had seen it. These were all the signs and actions of someone who was flustered. And William was never flustered. It was unacceptable, he would not allow it, especially not for Grell's amusement, and he was sure Grell was laughing inside at the moment, mocking him for his response and probably knowing that he had never been kissed before. Not that he had ever had any interest in kissing. All it really was two people touching lips, occasionally exchanging saliva- William stopped his train of thought immediately as the thought of lips had immediately reminded him of the tingling on his face, and suddenly he wondered what it would have felt like on his-

"Get out."

The words were out before his thoughts had even registered that that was what he wanted to say.

"I don't have time for games. Get. Out."

He punctuated it by turning and glaring at Grell as best he could with his hand still clapped over his ear. Honestly... he should know better. All of this was nothing but a game to Grell Sutcliff, he behaved this way with everyone. William would not be ridiculed, he would not be mocked, he would not be a participant in this cat and mouse game of who would give in first only to be eaten alive. There was no sincerity in Grell Sutcliff, the only thing he could sincerely be was to be sincerely insane. That was the end of it.

* * *

><p>There was a warm, slightly tingly feeling spreading through Grell's chest as she saw William's reaction. It was foreign and new, unwelcome and cheesy, and not something she would really ever have thought she would feel for anyone. Yet somehow, because this was Will, it was fine. It made her smile widen, more and more as William took his time to... Well, what he was doing exactly, she wasn't sure. She liked to think he was recovering. He certainly seemed flustered.<p>

William was flustered. _Her _William was flustered. And it was her fault. That warm feeling only intensified, and her grin widened, until she probably looked no better than any other lovestruck fool. In her mind, what would happen next was easy to figure out. Will would turn back around and look at her with perhaps slightly startled and mostly annoyed eyes. She would smile a seductive, inviting smile and take a step closer, wrap her arms around him and kiss him, properly on the lips this time, and he would melt into her embrace and answer with the same, now when there really was no point in pretending anymore...

She got as far as the seductive, inviting smile. Then she stopped mid-step as she realised what William was saying, and her smile slowly disappeared. That wasn't right. In fact, it was all so very, very wrong. No way was William still denying it! The man still had his hand at his neck, for goodness sake, as if Grell had bitten him rather than giving him such a small, light kiss. Not that nibbling at his neck wouldn't have been tempting now when that thought occurred to her... But she might have to go easy on William to win him over. Except going slowly was not, and had never ever been, her way of doing things in these matters. And she wasn't about to start now, either. William wanted her. That much was clear now. _Finally_. So the more she persisted, the harder it would be for him to resist... right?

In fact, if anyone else had ever done what William did and pushed her away again and again, she would've gotten bored by now. But this had stopped being just another one of her games she played for amusement so long ago, and while she sort of disliked the thought, this was out of her hands now. As much as William told her off, she wouldn't be able to stop. She needed him. That was unsettling to know, because Grell had always told herself she didn't need anyone. And yet again, because it was William, it was somehow okay. Nice, even. Besides, giving up now, when she had made such progress, would just be silly.

She got the seductive smile back, and finished that one step closer towards William while she twirled a strand of hair around her fingers. Her eyes locked on William's, refusing to look away, and when she spoke, it was in an unusually grave tone.

"I wonder which one of us is playing a game. I'm not the one denying my feelings, Will."

* * *

><p>At Grell's words, William furrowed his eyebrows closer together and frowned. Surely he wasn't accusing him of having feelings for the deranged redhead? That was preposterous. Grell was William's co-worker and former classmate, that was all there was to it. And while Grell may enjoy playing these silly little games just to get a reaction out of him, actions and feelings that occurred while he was being toyed with were anything but genuine, except perhaps the annoyance. William was simply not interested in such issues at the moment.<p>

And even as he thought such things, he was noticing how Grell was standing far too close for comfort-never mind that only minutes before he had allowed him to sit in his lap-and how Grell was shooting him a look that William couldn't quite read. It looked like a mixture of hunger and desire, perhaps madness. But then again, there was a touch of madness to everything Grell did or said, that much shouldn't have been surprising.

But taking into account the kiss from just now combined with that expression, the minimal closeness was too much. The air felt heavy and awkward, and William was sure that if he let Grell stay any longer, his body would want to betray every rational thought his logical mind would think. But there was nothing to deny. Did William sometimes take comfort in the presence of others? Yes. Did he sometimes find Grell's presence welcoming? Very rarely, yes. Did he sometimes ever take note of the overwhelming silence in his apartment at night and find it irksome? Yes. In short, William did notice sometimes how alone he was, but at the same time, he was never lonely. And most importantly, even if he were lonely, it didn't mean that would make him desperate enough to return feelings for a psychotic, murderous, shark-toothed redhead by the name of Grell Sutcliff... who STILL needed to get out of his office!

Ever the man of action, he voiced none of these thoughts of course, nor let his behavior get out of control. Instead he firmly grabbed Grell by the collar and dragged him backwards to the door of his office. Opening the door, he practically flung the man out-he was rather light-of his office, slammed the door shut, locked it, and breathed a sigh of relief.

_Honestly..._


	2. Newlyweds

A/N: This is a collaboration work, written by two different authors. It is taken from a series of roleplays I did with a friend. She writes for Grell, I write for William. You will notice the changes in points of view, and the changes will always be marked with a horizontal line. Reviews are always appreciated, please take note of our different writing styles and if possible, leave feedback for the both of us.

* * *

><p><strong>Newlyweds<strong>

Grell glanced down at her scythe. The curved blade was completely soaked in blood, shining a darker red than the handle. She had gotten a bit... over-excited this time. Something about being paired up with William for a case for once. With him getting his promotion, the time he spent doing paperwork greatly overshadowed that he spent out reaping, something that was nothing short of unhealthy in Grell's opinion. Although, ever one to try and look at the positive and fun side of things, with him almost always cooped up in his office, she almost always knew where she had him. And as stubborn as he was being, she needed every advantage she could get.

Ever since that first time when she had noticed him getting flustered, it was something she would always try and achieve again. And every time it worked, she would be spurred on. Which was lucky, because William would always deny it, throw her out, and then pretend like it hadn't happened. Except Grell would always know, always remember, and always keep trying.

And so, it was no surprise that she had been overjoyed about this particular case. Who cared that it wasn't a very exciting death at all, but just an older lady slipping on some stairs wet from the autumn rain? There had been little to judge too, with her just being an ordinary, working-class housewife with no aspirations or dreams of becoming anything more than that, and thus making her a human of little importance to the world at large. But as soon as William had agreed to collecting her soul, Grell had known how to make it exciting. Her bloodied scythe and gloves were proof of that, as well as the mad gleam in her eyes. And though her clothes had a few red spots on it, it was hard to tell against the black, and her shirt, face and hair had somehow remained clean, despite the red locks now hanging well past her shoulders. Although, the long, red scarf around her neck did help with keeping her hair in place despite the chilly wind. Obviously, she thought it important to look her best while around William. Speaking of which, he might not be too happy about the bloodied corpse at her feet. No one got _that _hurt from falling down some stairs. And that would mean extra paperwork... oops.

Well, she would have to deal with that later. Besides, overtime spent with William was never really _that _bad... not that she got much done as far as paperwork went. Still. She turned on her heels now, graceful like a swan, with a smile devoid of any innocence and eyes still glowing with bloodlust and the thrill of it all. She looked towards William, waving away her scythe and then pulling off her gloves and tucking them into a pocket in her coat.

"Sorry about that, Will-dear. Got a bit carried away. On the bright side, I got the job done quickly! Now, I'm sure they won't expect us back in the office for a lo~ng time, so why don't we go and have some fun, just you and me?"

Draping herself over one of William's shoulders, she gently traced a finger teasingly over his chest. She had planned this day carefully in her head ever since she found out about it, and she had tons of lines just waiting to be used. Now, she pulled one part of her scarf over her head and quickly flung it around William's neck, having practised the very same move enough times to be sure the scarf wouldn't fall off, but instead stay wrapped around them both, keeping them close.

"Although, it's rather cold. I think you might have to warm me up~"

* * *

><p>William followed almost every single rule of the death gods to a T. Perhaps it was because of his middle name. Perhaps it was because he was really well suited for this job. He did everything stoically, subtly, and (mostly) without complaint. But that didn't mean that he didn't occasionally have his preferences. And after being stuck behind a desk for most of the days, he was sometimes, dare he admit, glad to go out for a bit of field work. After all, he also had to keep in shape and not forget what the layout of London looked like after all. Humans were always so restless and intent on building and changing things all the time.<p>

So he had gotten the dispatch assignment, and was glad to go until... Grell Sutcliff decided to bring himself along, having proclaimed to have finished his own dispatch work early and apparently adamant on keeping him company. Honestly... he treated dispatch assignments as if they were a chance to go on some sort of field trip, especially whenever William was involved. And while he had now grown used to most of the shenanigans Grell Sutcliff went through, he wasn't always keen on going out on assignments with the redhead.

One of the reasons was staring him in the face at this very moment. Grell had a tendency to get over-excited about his work and mangle up the corpses much more than was necessary with his death scythe. What was supposed to be a simple trip and fall down the stairs had now turned into a scene that resembled a rather gruesome homicide. Perhaps what was even more unnerving was that Grell always enjoyed the sight of blood. Some nonsense about it being red, and red being his favorite color, William never quite understood it really. But now the redhead stood in front of him, spattered with blood and with a manic grin on his face, his scythe dripping with blood. William thought, only briefly, that the image suited Grell. Perhaps it was because his current image now reflected the madness within, or maybe it was because William himself was tired or going slightly mad himself. He wasn't sure, it wasn't worth thinking about. However, that mess would result in some extra paperwork on their part when it was time to file the final case report. Honestly...

And then the redhead was striding towards him with that blood-stained look and was soon draping his own scarf (red, of course, and against dress code) around William's neck, pulling their bodies closer together and smiling maniacally up at him. And William now easily understood what that particular smile meant.

Grell Sutcliff was flirting with him. Again and again, the redhead would burst into his office, or show up at his home, or join him on dispatch missions he hadn't been assigned to for the sole purpose of playing these ridiculous games to rile him up. Rolling his eyes, William replied logically, as logic was meant to halt the spread of such ridiculousness, though it rarely worked.

"If you would wrap your scarf, which is against dress code I might add, more properly around yourself and not around the both of us, you would warm up better."

Honestly, what was the point of sharing something like a scarf? They weren't meant to be shared to keep more than one person at a time warm. At its length, it barely wrapped around the two of them comfortably and William really couldn't see the point of such a gesture. Well, other than the obvious. But honestly, coming from Grell, the act could at any moment turn into a malicious one, with the scarf becoming a noose and the gesture one of strangulation. Though with the current look in his eyes, this was probably not the case.

William really wasn't sure why Grell Sutcliff insisted on teasing him this way. In his mind, if the redhead possessed any genuine affection for him, he would tell him so straight out, instead of playing these ridiculous games to try and make William succumb to whatever wiles he felt like employing. These games, those words, William felt that none of them were sincere, that they were all just ploys to make him vulnerable. But that wasn't even the issue. Of course the main obstacle to all of this was the fact that William did not have feelings for Grell. He could admit to the redhead being the most annoying, obnoxious, rule-breaking delinquent in his department who made him the most annoyed, bothered, and tired, but that was far from anything affectionate.

Honestly...

* * *

><p>Grell smiled up at William at his words, expecting something cold and obvious just like that to come out of his mouth. But over these few years of flirting, her smile had changed somewhat. No longer only coy and seductive, as she spent more time fighting for William to see things her way, to get him to admit he liked her, because she was convinced he did, it had turned into a smile she only ever gave him. It was no longer quite so much an automatic response to him paying any kind of attention to her, because it went deeper than that now. She smiled with more feeling, real feelings. And she hadn't liked that at all at first, and a part of her still didn't, that he could get her to feel the way he did. But she had decided to accept it, because oddly enough, every time William would get that smile out of her, it warmed her up more than any scarf ever could.<p>

"Possibly." She agreed with him now, which was unusual to say the least. "But you look cold too, so I thought I'd share. That way, we will _both _warm up better~"

It had taken a while for Grell to learn this tactic, and she still wasn't very good at it. William would often counter her advances with cold logic, and so sometimes, she would counter that with logic too. She wasn't one to keep to the facts, usually finding them dull, but occasionally, they could be useful. Especially against William. Of course, this time was all dependant on whether he would admit to being cold or not, which he most likely wouldn't even if he was. But Grell hadn't stopped trying yet, even after years of it, and was definitely not about to do so anytime soon.

She pulled at the scarf now, twisting it around her hand to keep it in a tight grip while she pulled them even closer together. Getting away would be awkward with their faces so close, and even more so for William, being the tallest of them. If she had tiptoed, she might have even managed to steal a kiss. But not this time. Not quite yet. Instead, she just leaned closer and brought the hand not holding the scarf in such a tight grip down to William's arm, wrapping her own around his and attempting to entwine her fingers with his. She lacked gloves at the moment, after all, and it being cold was not entirely something she had just said to get closer to William. As if she ever needed an excuse for that in the first place.

* * *

><p>William raised an eyebrow at the closeness between them, and even more so at Grell's attempts to entwine their fingers together. William found it odd, stupid really, that the redhead would choose to wear a scarf but not his gloves. Gloves were also a matter of dress code. And given the cooler weather, more a seasonal necessity than a work one. But perhaps Grell had "forgotten" his gloves on purpose for this purpose. Honestly...<p>

William had half a mind to push the redhead away, smack him over the head with his death scythe and have them both be on their merry way, but he stopped himself, mildly intrigued by the blood-splattered hand Grell placed upon his own. Grell's fingernails had been painted red, a feature that only served to highlight the blood that stained his hands, already drying and turning a deeper, almost blackish hue. Without thinking, William allowed the gesture, and wrapped his fingers with Grell's, looking down and thinking that their hands fit well together, and that the contrast of bright red against his own black gloves were, in fact, quite a good match.

William could admit that he was slightly unhinged. Weren't all death gods that way? On some level, they had to be in order to do the job that they did without losing it. All of the death, the violence, the sorrow, it would drive anyone mad. Every death god had their own way of coping, perhaps. William's methods had always been to retreat inside himself, to focus only on the job, to be emotionless and stoic. They were only humans. It didn't matter what happened to them, in the long run, in the big picture, they all lived just a short while, barely a ripple in time. And yet at the same time, they had to understand the sanctity of the life that they, death gods, took away from them. A human's struggles, their desire to live, their ambitions, hopes, and dreams... meaningless to the world, but a world of meaning to each individual. Perhaps Grell delighted in that. Perhaps blood reminded him of the vibrance of a person's life. And perhaps that was why William allowed him to get out of control sometimes, because it suited him, suited them, their work. The red could be appealing sometimes, and had an appropriate place juxtaposed to black.

Pulling himself out of his thoughts, William sighed exasperatedly at Grell's logic, if one could call it that. While Grell might be slightly cold, William was fine, and needed no warming up gesture. Letting go of Grell's hand, ignoring the emptiness his hand felt as they parted, he removed the scarf from around his neck and wrapped it more snugly around Grell's. Tucking it into place securely on the redhead's shoulders so that he could be warmer, William then removed one of his gloves and placed it in the redhead's hands.

"For heaven's sake, next time, don't forget your gloves."

Then adjusting his glasses, William turned on his heel and moved to walk out of the woman's home that they had intruded upon. Soon somebody would find her, perhaps a neighbor, perhaps a family member. In any case, they would be horrified by the mess that they had left behind, and William wasn't keen on sticking around to see it.

"Let's move, Grell Sutcliff. We have one more collection a few blocks down from here before we've finished."

* * *

><p>Grell was startled, almost shocked, when William didn't pull away. Her smile disappeared, and she quickly lowered her gaze, looking down at their hands instead of meeting Williams eyes. And when he actually grabbed her fingers back, she was so close to pulling away. She had no idea what stopped her, only that something did. And she didn't like it in the slightest. She wanted to be the one making the decisions. But this was, figuratively speaking, very suddenly out of her hands. Such a small, most likely even unintentional show of affection very nearly turned her world upside-down, simply because she wasn't used to it. And she had never thought she would actually like someone handling her that way either, and couldn't even tell if she liked it now. Yet she froze in place, warily watching their entwined fingers, frustrated with herself, with William, and with the fact that that she <em>couldn't pull away<em>.

And then William did what she couldn't, and her hand suddenly felt empty and small and cold, though she could tell it had little to do with the weather anymore. And she was relieved when he raised his hands, sure that he would grab her by the shoulders and shove her away, tell her to get back to work, and then everything could go back to normal. But he didn't. And though, once he spoke and it was with the usual scoldings and seriousness, she was left standing as he turned, with his glove in her hands and a tingling feeling where he had touched her shoulders, at a complete lack of words. Grell Sutcliff was never at a lack for words.

She pulled herself together then. It took some effort, but then she was acting again, filling her mind with silly little scenarios she would like to play out while alone with William and pushing what had just happened far back into some corner of her head. No way was she going to let William do something like that to her again. Ever.

She skipped after him, paying a little more attention to where she put her feet than usual. It would be just her luck to trip over her own heels and fall now, possibly making William actually aware of that he had affected her... Not that he had. Smiling again, the old seductive smile that came so easily whenever she wanted, she easily kept up with him as they moved back out on the streets of the city. She immediately clung to his arm, as she often did, liking the thought of that it made them look like a couple.

"Remind me, Will. What's this next one about?"

As if she had actually read the assignment papers. The only thing she had cared about was finding out that William was going on field work, without a partner, and quickly decided to do something about that last part. Who cared what work it was, as long as she got to spend some alone time with him? And suddenly, she let out a squeal and giggled, tugging slightly at his arm in excitement, still hugging his glove in one hand almost without noticing.

"Ah~ William, this reminds me of our final exam~!"

* * *

><p>William had to admit he was slightly glad that Grell didn't immediately run off as soon as he could to their next case. He was glad for two reasons: The first was that if Grell ran off again on his own, William was sure he would have to arrive at the scene of another mangled corpse and the resulting extra paperwork, which he most certainly did not want to deal with. The second reason was that... well the weather was somewhat chilly, and having Grell's body clinging to him did warm him up somewhat. Although he would never admit that aloud. The redhead would probably deafen him with some squeal of glee or draw attention to themselves by some unnecessary show of affection.<p>

But of course, the redhead wouldn't have read the case file before assigning himself to this case now would he? That would be expecting far too much from him, of course. Adjusting his glasses with his free arm and sighing, William informed Grell monotonously as to what their next mission was.

"We're going to be witness to a carriage accident. Newlyweds. They got married earlier this morning and will be heading to the harbor for their first trip. We will intercept them in about twenty minutes."

It was rather unfortunate that the two young lovers would have to be collected on their wedding day, but William had seen far worse things already on the job. On some level, he supposed that Grell was right, it was like their final exam. They would have to reap souls on the happiest day of their lives, on a day of success and goodwill, just like they had reaped Thomas. When they least expect their world to come crashing down, he and Grell would appear, as specters of death and the frightening unknown. What was it William had thought earlier, about being mentally unhinged?

He led them both down the London streets, not minding blending in with the populace once in a while (not that he really blended at all with his non-Victorian suit), turning a few corners here and there until finally they were at the designated place of death. Checking his watch, he saw that they still had about eight minutes before their collection would arrive. Stopping at the intersection, William adjusted his glasses.

"This is the place."

* * *

><p>Grell's eyes swept the streets as they walked, gazing brightly into shops and sometimes following some of the humans as they walked past. Though most of the time, she picked them out because they happened to be wearing something she found to her liking, occasionally she would spot a handsome face and feel just slightly intrigued. Oddly enough, no one seemed all that attractive, and without reflecting on it, she had brought one hand down to entwine her fingers with William's once again.<p>

With a somewhat aloof look, she listened to him tell her about the next case, looking like she often did when there were talk of work: completely disinterested. And although the words actually registered with her after a while, the only reaction was a quick glance in William's direction. She didn't know exactly what she was looking for. Perhaps any sign of him being bothered by it all, though she knew before looking that even if he was, he wouldn't show it. But she didn't think he was the least bit affected. He was a cold man, after all.

As for Grell, she was very aware of that any human would have found the whole event very sad and unfortunate. She was a romantic, occasionally, she read love stories made up by humans and delighted in all the drama and silly little things that seemed to happen as they found their one true love and either lived happily ever after or gave up everything for their lovers, sometimes ending in tragedy. This was very much a tragedy, and while reading about those, she could sometimes feel sentimental. Now it was real, and she was almost completely indifferent. It was just another day at work. Maybe it had something to do with that she didn't really know this human couple as she could sometimes feel she knew the characters in a book. Maybe she was just insane.

Or maybe, she was busy trying to stop her mind from going in all the wrong directions. A newlywed couple on their first and last trip together, being reaped by her and William who, in Grell's head anyway, were just starting out. In a twisted way, that was almost romantic. And why she was thinking that after the disturbing things that had happened earlier she had no idea, but suddenly realising where her hand was once again, she quickly pulled it and herself away from William. Only after did she realise her actions could be misinterpreted as her being upset by what they were about to do, and she hurried to fix it.

Giving William another manic smile, she folded her hands together, still holding his glove, while she looked around, trying to guess from which direction their carriage might come from, ready and excited to get to summon her scythe again.

"Such a pity~" she mumbled at the story, without much emotion. Then her eyes lit up and she continued, much more eager. "Oh~ I can't wait to see her wedding dress~"

Red always looked so very good against white.

* * *

><p>It was a good thing that Grell's only reaction was one of indifference. They had no business being emotional on the job after all. They were proud death gods now, and they were meant to do their jobs subtly... discretely... They would collect the souls, judge their placement in the afterlife, then be back at work, filing their case reports. It was just another day, just another job.<p>

As they had walked to their current location, William had noticed Grell entwining their fingers together once again, and he had allowed it, if only because that hand was starting to grow a little cold from being gloveless. But on some level, he had to admit that it felt somewhat comfortable to have another's hand wrapped with your own. William wasn't the type of person to seek out another's skinship or company and that was simply because he didn't need it. But that didn't mean he had to turn down the ones that offered it to him.

Then as they stood waiting for their collections, Grell had let go of him, almost as if offended by the case details, but quickly resumed his place on his arm, grinning madly and mumbling some nonsense about the bride's dress. That might not have been as innocent as it seemed. With Grell, nothing was as innocent as it seemed.

William heard the sounds of a horse careening out of control and soon, the carriage came crashing into the intersection where they stood. The horse had been spooked by something or another, and his driver was trying his hardest to get the beast back under control. But that was the problem with carriages. They were led by animals, who were unpredictable and had a mind of their own. Soon the carriage went crashing into one of the lamp posts that stood nearby, before the horse fell over and tipped the carriage along with it. The sounds of splintering wood and frantic neighs filled the air as passerby tensed and stopped to look. The driver had been thrown off his seat before the carriage tipped over and lay in a broken heap off to the side. He was not scheduled to die today, but William could not say the same for the man's passengers. The bride's life was quickly fading, having suffered a trauma to the head, and the man would live for another agonizing minute, his body broken from having tried to shield his wife to no avail.

William gripped one of Grell's arms tightly before they left the sidewalk and shot him a steady look.

"Don't make a mess this time. I don't want the extra paperwork."

* * *

><p>Grell rarely ever found the actual events leading up to death very enjoyable. There was rarely a big enough amount of her favourite colour for it to be that. On the other hand, she really did enjoy the part where she got to do something about that... Of course, William would have to be a spoilsport and tell her not to. And it was almost somewhat hard to say something against him, especially when he was clutching her arm that way and giving her that look...<p>

And so, she just kept grinning, unable to help it. The screaming of the horse and the people, the noise the carriage made as it crashed and tipped over, splinters of wood falling everywhere, it got her excited, drove out whatever little piece of sanity that she actually possessed. Maybe if William had told her before the previous death, which has been a much more quiet one, she might have obeyed. But with everything going on around these deaths, there was very little hope. Besides, was that a piece of white fabric she spotted between the splinters of wood?

She was off as soon as William's grip around her wrist disappeared. Tucking his glove into her pocket so that she wouldn't lose it, she whipped her hand out into the air beside her next, soon able to grip the familiar handle of her scythe. Resting it over one shoulder, she rushed forward, jumping across the broken pieces of wood as if they weren't there, as graceful as if she were dancing her way towards what was left of the carriage. And she was fast, it only taking her seconds to reach the dying couple. A bit shielded from the onlookers by the broken pieces of carriage, she reached out and roughly pulled the bride out of her husband's arms, to then trace a finger across the white fabric of her dress, from the top of it and as far down as she could reach. Her eyes were dangerous, bloodthirsty, and almost... envious.

Grell brought her scythe down then, the curved blade easily tearing into the bare skin of her neck, careful to turn the body away slightly so as not to get too much blood on her own clothes and skin. The reels of cinematic record fluttering into the air was meaningless, they had already been judged, and were already as good as dead. Grell cut the reels with her scythe, thinking little of it as the red ran down along the woman's neck and dyed the white ruffles along the top of the dress a much darker, less innocent colour. Grell smiled calmly, and lowered the body down almost gently to the ground. Then she stood, wiping her scythe and hands on the skirt of the dress before simply admiring her work for a moment. Then she raised her eyes to look up at William, with no feeling of guilt whatsoever. After all, she thought she had done a rather good job. It was a bit less messy than usual, at least, yet she had still managed to make it beautiful.

* * *

><p>It could have been worse, William thought. Grell could have taken the woman's head cleanly off, which was a wound highly uncharacteristic of a stagecoach accident. As it was, the woman was mostly more... bloody than she should have been. Summoning his own death scythe into his grip, William flipped it over twice in the air before bringing it down onto the young man's stomach wound. The reels of his cinematic record streamed out, but William paid them little attention. He could see the look that Grell was giving him, and the look he had given that woman.<p>

Once the reels were finished and the victims judged, William closed his death charter and willed it away back to his desk. They were done with their collections for the day. The only thing left now was to file away the paperwork. This young love had been nipped in the bud and would now be kept on paper as nothing more than records for eternity. Clearing his throat as he heard the approaching of a crowd, he grabbed Grell's wrist and moved them away from the crime scene, into a nearby alleyway to avoid being too conspicuous. Death gods were shielded somewhat from the eyes of humans who could really only notice their presence when they willed it, or when death was nearby. No one noticed them when they had been walking down the sidewalk earlier, but now that the foul stench of death pervaded the air, they would be more likely to notice its grim deliverers if they lingered too long.

William checked his watch, noting that they had an hour or so left in their work day, and that if they could process these cases quickly, they wouldn't be forced into any unnecessary overtime. Looking up and down the alleyway then turning his head to the sky, William spotted metal stairs going up and down the side of the buildings. That was their ticket out. William much preferred traveling on the rooftops anyway. He didn't really care to mingle with the humans as Grell did most of the time.

"Come Grell Sutcliff. We're done here."

* * *

><p>Grell loved watching William work. While his movements was never as showy as her own, and while there was never any unnecessary blood spilled, he was always so controlled, so cold and unfeeling, almost ruthless. Yet while she would daydream about that look, she was also all to aware of how for all the cold, frustrated looks he would throw her way, he had never looked at her like that. She liked to think he couldn't. That he actually liked her too much to do that.<p>

Making her death scythe disappear as William grabbed her wrist, she willingly followed, throwing one last glance back at the dead couple, letting her eyes rest on the bride for a moment too long, causing her to stumble just a little. Quickly turning her eyes back forward, she managed to find her balance again, hoping William hadn't noticed. Following him into the alleyway, she gave him another one of her manic smiles, face and hair still somehow free of any blood. She couldn't say the same for her clothes, though. But no one in the office would be bothered by seeing her walk into it like that, they were much too used to it. And maybe it was even worth the extra paperwork, though that might have something to do with how Grell always managed to come up with excuses to not do it at all. At least until William forced her to do it anyway... which was very much worth it too.

All the same, while she didn't carry a clock, she felt pretty sure about that they still had some time left. She was at least going to try and make something out of it, even if it lead to overtime. Besides, if it was overtime with William, it wouldn't be all that bad. Following him up the stairs, she grabbed his arm again, intending to pull herself close. And that was when she had the most brilliant idea. She was going to follow the example of the lady they had reaped earlier and slip in the stairs... only she would be doing it on purpose. And maybe it would hurt a little, but she certainly wasn't going to die from it. She was just going to pull William along with her.

Letting one heel slip off the stairs, she gasped somewhat over-dramatically as she let herself fall backwards, clinging to William's arm as tightly as she could. They weren't high enough up the stairs yet for it to be a particularly long fall, but she still cringed as her back hit the ground, and gasped again, not on purpose this time, as she felt her clothes getting wet and cold, the ground still wet from the rain. Oh, and it was muddy, too! Her hair was going to be a complete mess!

Thinking that just _maybe_, she should have thought this plan out a bit more carefully, it was still almost worth it as she looked up at William above her. Having him so close, for a moment she even forgot what state her hair must be in, and just grinned up at him, so very tempted to reach up and give him a kiss.

* * *

><p>It was remarkable. In battle, Grell Sutcliff could be as graceful as swan. Perhaps a swan dyed in the blood of other creatures, but the essence of gracefulness was there. William could admit to being impressed by how his agility and strength in a fight, but outside of a confrontation, Grell was surprisingly clumsy. And this was made all the more evident by the fact that they had stumbled and fallen down, with barely half a flight of stairs covered. William had felt a tug on his arm and thought that he could have supported a minor stumble, but then felt himself being pulled back suddenly without the proper footing to support such a tumble and soon, he was lying on top of Grell Sutcliff, his hands on either side of Grell's head, covered with mud.<p>

One knee had landed by Grell's waist and was also now covered in mud, while the other knee had landed between Grell's legs. His glasses had slipped to the tip of his nose, but they hadn't fallen off. William's first instinct was, of course, to adjust them back to their proper position, and so he did so. He forgot that his hands were covered in mud however, and accidentally smeared some of it on the tip of his nose and on his cheek. Honestly...

Sighing exasperatedly, he glared at the redhead, who was grinning madly, his shark-like teeth mere inches from William's nose.

"Grell Sutcliff, how have you not learned how to walk properly at this point?"

It was a fair question, William thought. After all, they had only been going up stairs.

* * *

><p>Grell's initial reaction had been to grin. It was the same seductive smirk that came so easily to her whenever there was someone around she found attractive, and William must have seen it on her face more than anyone else. But once she properly realised <em>just<em> how close he was, where his hands and legs were, and how he was glaring down at her with those cold eyes, she started to have second thoughts for the third time in what must have been less than an hour. Clearly, this wasn't her day. What in the realms had happened to her old self, the one who was always in control? And why was it that she always had to try so hard to seduce William, when he seemed to be able to do it without even trying at all?

Grell felt her breath quicken, and her grin wavering. She was shivering slightly, but wasn't entirely sure if the reason for that was her wet clothes and hair, or... something else. She also felt rather speechless, and while she hadn't quite been attentive enough to pay attention to what William said, it still bothered her. Nearly as much as it bothered her when she almost absent-mindedly reached up a hand to gently wipe the mud off of William's face. And she wasn't smiling anymore, nor did her eyes hold any of their usual danger as she gazed up at him. She almost looked shy, and while she hadn't noticed it herself yet, there was a slight red tint to her cheeks.

* * *

><p>For once, William didn't receive any snide comments or comebacks, excuses or whines. For once, the only response he got from Grell Sutcliff was silence, and- was that a blush? Could Grell Sutcliff be capable of embarrassment or modesty? Well, William supposed he learned something new every day. There was a slightly red tint on Grell's cheeks, and his lips were open slightly, as if to speak but no sound came out. If William didn't know better, he would think that that expression was somewhat endearing.<p>

Sighing with exasperation, William moved to get up, wiping his hands some on his already muddied pants. He didn't bother with the mud he knew was still on his face. Once he was standing, he held his hand out to Grell to help the redhead get to his feet, since he was obviously still in such a daze that he couldn't seem to pull himself to his feet.

"Lying down on the job, Grell Sutcliff? Let's go, shall we?"

* * *

><p>Grell jumped slightly as William moved to stand, pulled out of her daze somewhat, but still feeling at a loss for words and very frustrated with herself. And when he held his hand out to help, she didn't think twice before grabbing it with her own and allowing him to pull her to her feet as well. And that was when she realised what she was doing, and removed her hand from his at once, groaning inwardly at herself. Really, now. She was being ridiculous. She needed to stop.<p>

"Of course I'm not! I just slipped, and you just happened to be close enough to..."

She fell silent as another shiver shook her body, and she was sure it was from the cold this time. Looking down, she stared in silent horror at the state of her clothes, the coat heavy with muddy water, and the red scarf hanging messily off her shoulders, dripping slightly. Raising a hand to her hair, she was horrified to find that it had slipped out of the scarf, the midback long strands all tangled and wet and coloured a slightly darker red by the dirty water. There was very little comfort in knowing that her face and makeup remained dry. Just knowing that she was looking like this, and especially in front of William, who she always took the greatest care in looking her very best around, more than she did for anyone else...

At first glance, no one would ever guess that Grell was even able to feel insecure. But then no one ever saw her just after waking up, how much time she spent on fixing her hair and nails and putting on makeup before actually being able to look into the mirror and like what she saw. Because while she loved a lot about her own appearance, the strikingly red hair and green eyes, those long, thin hands and legs and slim waist, there was just as much she didn't like, if not more. She would never have those womanly curves, dainty shoulders and full eyelashes. And while she had accepted that, it didn't stop her from always doing what she could to look as good as possible, to hide her insecurities behind makeup and fancy clothes. Now suddenly finding herself without that comfort, she could come up with nothing else to do than turn away from William, clutching at her ruined hair with both hands.

* * *

><p>Although the redhead had moved to stand quickly enough, he then felt some unexplainable urge to just stand there, fidgeting in his clothes and clutching at his hair. Hair, which William considered too long. Honestly... how could anyone work properly with their bangs falling into their face like that or draped down the back of their neck and shoulders? But in all honesty, he couldn't remember the last time he had seen the redhead this upset. Well, sad upset not angry upset. He had seen the redhead get angry several times, but not like this. He almost looked like he was on the brink of tears, god knows why. If it was about the mud, they were both covered in it, and it was uncomfortable, yes, but it was certainly nothing to cry about.<p>

Without thinking, William tried to wipe at the mud from his face again with his muddy hands and succeeded in only putting more mud on his face. Honestly... perhaps it was a good idea to go back to his apartment and change before showing back up at the office. Granted, they had less than an hour of work left, but he was not about to sit in his office chair with his muddied clothes and muddy face and work for any extended period of time. Sighing inwardly, he supposed he would either have to settle for working at the office in his current state, or taking on a little bit of overtime in order to go and change. Oh well... at least it would only be a little bit of overtime this time around.

Snapping out of his thoughts due to the little whines that were coming from Grell Sutcliff's direction, William let out another exasperated sigh and adjusted his glasses... and got more mud on his face. Honestly...

"Stop that, you look fine. Honestly, of all the... I'm going back to my apartment to wash up and change before going back to the office, thanks to the mess you made for us."

* * *

><p>Grell would very much have preferred it if the ground could have opened up and swallowed her. She also thought about running away, but obviously her own stubborn pride put a stop to that. Feeling the cold water drip over her hands as she buried them in her hair, she only felt more miserable, almost scared, though she would never admit it out loud. But surely, she would never be able to get William flustered again now, when he had seen her like this, and he certainly would never want someone who looked so hideous and... what was that he had said?<p>

Looking up before she could stop herself, she locked eyes with William, her own just slightly shiny with tears that she wouldn't allow to fall. He had said she looked fine. That was more or less a compliment, coming from him. And he was always so brutally honest and straightforward, Grell couldn't believe he would say something like that just to be nice. Which meant he really thought that she looked fine. And that he kept talking like nothing was wrong also proved this. Grell could hardly believe it. And while it didn't exactly cheer her up, she still felt better. Briefly, she even thought about trying to find an excuse to follow William to his apartment, but thought better of it. She needed her own time to fix herself up, time that was surely going to give her overtime, but there was no way she was going anywhere near others like this. And so nodding at William, she reached up to tuck her hair into the dirty scarf, just to hide it, and hurried up the stairs.


	3. Sticks and Stones

A/N: This is a collaboration work, written by two different authors. It is taken from a series of roleplays I did with a friend. She writes for Grell, I write for William. You will notice the changes in points of view, and the changes will always be marked with a horizontal line. Reviews are always appreciated, please take note of our different writing styles and if possible, leave feedback for the both of us.

* * *

><p>- -A FEW YEARS LATER-<p>

It had been just an ordinary day. Grell had slept in, since she would be working the night shift, and then spent the usual amount of time tending to her hair and putting on her makeup before getting dressed. After pulling on her coat and gloves, she had still deemed herself to have enough time to go visit William's office, going through the usual routine of flirting and trying to get him flustered before he had had enough and she found herself in a heap outside his door, still reeling from his cold glare and strong grip. Standing up and straightening her clothes, she ignored any glances thrown her way and walked off to get to the mortal realm to start her reapings.

The case was a bit of an exciting one. A young aristocrat on his way home from a party, stabbed in the chest in a dark alley by a hooded figure, who took his most valuable possessions, and then the young man was left to bleed to death. Grell was fairly amused as she watched, leaning against a wall further ahead. Clearly, the young man was superstitious, since when the murderer revealed a thin, white hand holding an ornate silver knife from the folds of the black cloak, the aristocrat started mumbling prayers and some rubbish about the Grim Reaper. Grell was very tempted to go and kindly ask the murderer to please not steal her job, but held herself back, knowing she would get to have her fun anyway.

And once the murderer fled the scene, Grell swooped down on the poor man, grinning as she brought the blade of her death scythe down on his throat, very nearly taking his head off and staining the whole front of his pretty clothes with his own blood. And while he had been quite handsome already, he now looked positively gorgeous all dyed in red. Grell cut his records with another swipe of her scythe, and then stood up slowly, admiring her work. And that was when a prickling feeling at the back of her neck told her she wasn't alone.

Spinning around on her heels, hair whipping around her to settle in front of one shoulder, she narrowed her eyes while gazing into the shadows, tightening the grip on her scythe. No human would be able to sneak up on a Shinigami... which had to mean... Grell let out a silent breath as the creature stepped towards her. While it was wearing ordinary clothes, its skin was black and its eyes aglow, and while Grell had never actually met one until now, every death god was taught from day one at the Academy what a demon was, and that they were _bad_... And this one looked angry. Very angry. Furious, even. It didn't even offer her an explanation to why before it suddenly charged at her with inhuman speed, which was just rude, really. And while Grell was one of the faster ones of her kind, she barely had time to duck out of the way, and soon she cringed as she felt black claws through her hair, probably ripping off a few strands.

Now _that_ was something Grell did _not _appreciate.

Growling, she brought her scythe up, nearly matching the demon in speed as she aimed for its neck, and smiled in triumph as she did indeed hit her target. Pulling the demon closer and digging the blade deeper into the its neck, she grabbed its shoulder with her free hand, wanting it to see her smirk as it was killed, and of course take the opportunity to brag a little. She couldn't resist, not when she knew demons despised her kind just as much as they despised them.

"And here I always thought meeting a demon would be so much more _exciting_..."

Then suddenly, pain exploded through one of her arms. Grell gasped, too stunned to find her voice, and looked down to see the demon's claws digging their way through her skin. Her grip on its shoulder faltered, and it wrenched its claws out, nearly taking her arm off, and this time, she did scream. The demon grabbed the blade of her scythe, hissing in pain as it dug into its hand, and then wrenched it out of of its own neck, and then out of her hand, throwing it far out of her reach. Grell whined at the sight, feeling like the demon might just as well actually have ripped her arm off, finding little comfort in that it at least hadn't been smart enough to use it against her. Maybe she still had a chance... Ignoring the pain in her arm, she lunged forward, teeth bared and uninjured arm raised, but next felt long fingers wrap around her neck and slamming her backwards into the nearest wall. Her glasses slipped off her nose to dangle in their chains, her head spun and she was dimly aware of something wet and warm trickling through her hair, and then she screamed again as those claws ripped their way through her side.

She fell forward, her injured arm immediately giving away as she tried to catch her fall, feeling more blood soaking her glove as she pressed her other hand to her side. It took her a while to silence her own whines as she lay there shivering, terrified that the demon would at any time return with her death scythe and finish the job. But soon she realised the alley was completely quiet, and she forced her eyes open, trying to focus her blurry vision. Red splatters of blood decorated the street, both her own and the demon's, and as she thought she could see it trailing off into the shadows, limping and near death. She smiled weakly despite herself. At least she had done enough harm to stop the demon from staying. And she was still in the same alley where she had been sent for work, the corpse of the young aristocrat lying just out of her reach. It would be easy for someone to find her once they realised she was missing. Unless of course, they would just think it was good riddance if she didn't show up. Rolling over on her uninjured side and resuming the whining as that just made her arm hurt even more, she closed her eyes and found herself thinking that hopefully, at least William would care, even if he had thrown her out of the office the last time she had seen him.

* * *

><p>The routine was always the same. William would be peacefully working in his office, the redhead would come in to pester him until he took the flirting too far, and then William would kick him out of his office at last and resume doing the things he needed to do. A little less than half of days William worked, he was stuck doing overtime because of something or another that Grell Sutcliff caused or did that <em>he<em> would have to clean up and set straight because _he_ was management and that was _his_ job.

And more than half of the times that he was on overtime duty, the redhead would continue to pester him, extending his overtime hours beyond what they needed to be. He would return from his dispatch duty, neglect his paperwork until it was closing time, then either leave while the paperwork was unfinished, or decide that he simply had to work on it in William's office during a session of mutual overtime. Today however, as his watch ticked ever closer to the end of the working day, and even with the pile of paperwork on his desk growing steadily smaller, the crease between William's eyebrows grew ever deeper. Grell Sutcliff still hadn't returned from his dispatch duty, and he hadn't been assigned any overly difficult or special cases today. And while the redhead wasn't one of William's better employees, he was rarely truant in returning, and he could expect that the redhead wouldn't completely neglect his duty and take off from work early for no reason. Even if he wasn't going to do his paperwork upon his return, he would still at least check back in. Perhaps he got distracted by something on his way back, as he was wont to do, but even when the redhead was usually distracted, he never took _this_ long.

William's eyes kept flicking back and forth from his paperwork to the ticking hand on his watch. Honestly... where was he? And then there it was. William had finished with his paperwork, the bell chimed for the end of the working day, employees filed out, happy to be done with their work for the day, and Grell Sutcliff was still nowhere to be seen. None of the other employees seemed to miss his absence, but William noticed. How could he not? For all the obstruction that he was, Grell's intrusions had become as much a part of his daily schedule as his work and meetings and dispatch duty were.

_Honestly... _

Adjusting his glasses exasperatedly, William resolved to go to the human realm where Grell Sutcliff was supposed to retrieve his last soul collection and make sure the redhead wasn't having too much fun disemboweling his latest collection. And although that would cause extra, unnecessary paperwork, William couldn't help but hope that that was the case and not something... worse. Once in London, William made a beeline for the location that Grell was supposed to be in and cringed as he detected a certain scent in the air.

_No_... it couldn't be. But it was. William could sense it, he could smell it, a demon had been here. And if a demon had been here, then there was no doubt that Grell must have fought it. And if Grell fought it... there were only two possibilities, and the worse option between the two was looming in William's mind like a cancer, and he doubled his pace as he headed to the place of death. Not before too long, he could smell blood in the air as well and beneath him in an alleyway, his eyes caught sight of red. Too much red.

_Oh god. _

Rushing to Grell's side, his eyes widening at the amount of blood he was covered in and the amount of blood he seemed to have lost to the pavement, he gently picked up Grell's head from the ground and felt a wave of relief wash over him as the redhead let out a groan of pain. Good, he wasn't dead. They were understaffed as it was, William couldn't afford to lose one of his key dispatch workers. Still, injured as the redhead was, William had to fight the urge to hit him over the head for his carelessness. _How_ could he have let himself get hurt so badly? William knew firsthand how skilled Grell could be in battle if he was taking things seriously. Either he had been taken by surprise or he had been careless, and he felt sure it was the latter for some reason.

Looking over Grell's body, he noted the huge gash in his side, though the bleeding had stopped mostly thanks to their quick regenerative abilities. Unfortunately, some of the torn ligaments in Grell's arm would take a little longer to heal completey, perhaps the next day or two. Honestly... William didn't want to risk removing Grell's jacket for it would surely make the redhead feel more pain, but he needed something with which to wrap these wounds and set the arm so that he could move Grell from the spot without too much trouble. Sighing exasperatedly, William removed his own blazer, tucking Grell's shredded arm against his chest and wrapping it in place with his suit. It was somewhat awkward and much too bulky, but it would do. His movements and stirring of the redhead had stirred some consciousness into him, but he was far from lucid. Cradling Grell's head against his shoulder and tucking his injured arm between their bodies, William lifted him as gently as he could and rushed him out of that alleyway and back to their realm, heading straight for the infirmary in the office building.

* * *

><p>Grell had tried to fight the threat of unconsciousness for quite a while as she lay there, still scared that the demon might return. How long did it take those creatures to heal, anyway? Maybe she really should have paid more attention at the Academy... And where was William? Working, obviously. He wouldn't miss her for quite a while, if at all. Trying to blink away some tears she blamed entirely on the horrible pain in the arm she was still lying on, she dimly noted that she could hardly move it, and that trying just made her wish it actually had been ripped off. As it was, it was just another part of her body that hurt something terrible. Too much. And eventually, she couldn't resist it anymore. Her hand slipped from her side, no longer stemming the blood flow, and she lost consciousness.<p>

The next thing she was aware of was, unfortunately, more pain. Someone was touching her, and for a moment she felt sure the demon really was back, and a trembling whine passed her lips before she realised the touch was much to gentle for someone with killing in mind. There was a sigh, and she swore it was familiar, that she had heard it many times before. And relief swept through her whole being as she came to the conclusion that it was indeed William. And while his movements had her gasping in pain, she still finally felt somewhat safe again. And she felt a need to explain why she was in this state, maybe warn him of the possibility of there still being some demon around, but in the end only one word got past her lips, and she didn't even notice, much less care about how pathetic or weak she sounded.

"William..."

She was briefly aware of being cradled close to his chest, but had little time to enjoy it as he lifted her off the ground, and her head swam at the pain in her side, before she blacked out again. The second time she came around, she was much less aware of what had actually happened. Attempting to open her eyes, she immediately closed them again as the strong light of the room hurt them, and she made a move to raise her arm to cover them. She hissed suddenly, as the movement was painful and her arm felt oddly heavy, and instead brought her other hand up to rub at her eyes. Able to open them after a while, she at once noticed the highly annoying whiteness of the room, meaning it was definitely not her own bed at home she was lying in. But it was familiar, though she had never actually woken up in here before. So what had she been doing that was bad enough to make her end up in the infirmary? What in the realms could have managed to hurt her enough to... Suddenly remembering everything, Grell sat up straight, just to then double over, gasping and clutching at her bandaged middle beneath the covers as her head started spinning once again. "_Damn demons_..."

* * *

><p>After he had brought Grell to the infirmary, the medical staff on standby had tended to his wounds, bandaging him up properly and setting his arm back in place so that the ligaments could heal in proper alignment. The side gash would heal within the next 24 hours, but his arm would require two or three days to heal completely. All the while, William had watched them as they took care of Grell, his eyes never leaving the redhead's face even as the doctor was telling William that Grell would have to be on leave for the next day or two due to his injuries. Then, after they had finished, William had pulled up a chair to sit beside the redhead in his hospital bed, still frowning at him. As Grell slept, his face oddly peaceful and his chest rising slowly with every breath, William scolded him, just a little, knowing that he couldn't hear him, but somehow it made him feel better to scold something, and Grell's sleeping body would do well enough.<p>

"Honestly... how could you be so careless. Always bragging, well what good is your strength if you don't even bloody use it properly? ...Making me go look for you after hours... and now you have to be on leave, which is more work for me and... you're a bloody fool."

And after mumbling a few more minutes worth of choice words and finger wagging, William had fallen silent, content to leave his scolding at that and resume the rest for when the redhead actually woke up. Checking his watch, he saw that it was well past closing hours. The nurse on staff had insisted that William go home and get some rest, but he stayed put in his seat, proclaiming that he had no other option but to scold Grell when he woke up. The woman had looked at him rather peculiarly and left it alone. After a while, William had started to read a book as he sat beside the redhead, but even that grew tiresome. He had half a mind to whack Grell upside the head and wake up him prematurely. _Honestly..._ making him wait like this. And on top of that, making him worry about his safety...

But soon, he couldn't help himself. Resting his head on his arms beside Grell on the bed, William closed his eyes, just to rest them for a second. Only a second. Then William was startled awake by the redhead snapping up in his bed then immediately falling back down onto it like an idiot with notable gasps and whines of pain.

_Honestly... _

Yawning, William sat up slowly, rubbing the sleep out of his eyes, his hair mostly undone at this point and beginning to fall into his eyes. Then remembering why he had even stayed so late in the first place, he began to scold Grell, just like he said he would.

"Honestly... how idiotic can you get?"

* * *

><p>Damn it, that <em>hurt<em>. And not in a good way either, far from it. Grell fell back against the pillows, writhing in pain and whining as that only made it worse. After a deep breath, she forced her body to be still, only to then jump a mile as something moved just to the side of the bed. Wailing and clutching at her side, and blinking away some more tears, she then realised it was just William, which caused her to feel rather foolish instead. And while she liked having him there, she didn't very much appreciate how insensitive he was. Couldn't he feel just a little bit sorry for her? Though really, it was to be expected. Such a _cold_ man.

"I didn't do anything wrong. I was attacked. What was I supposed to do, not fight back? At least I made enough damage for that thing to leave me alone..."

If she had been able to, she would have folded her arms and pouted. As it was, she merely pouted and looked away, trying to not think about the fight and what a close call it had been. Grell had only ever lost once before, but she had never actually felt scared. But now, remembering how the demon had just ripped her death scythe out of her hand, the sight of those claws going straight through her arm like it was nothing, it almost made her shiver. Almost. And now she was stuck in the bloody infirmary, feeling weak and light-headed and pathetic and hardly able to move. It was frustrating.

"So. How long am going to be stuck in here?"

She still refused to look at William, despairing further as she realised that while washing off all the blood, obviously some nurse had gotten rid of her makeup as well. Why was it it was always William who had to be around during those very rare moments when she didn't look her best? Self-consciously, she pulled the white blanket almost all the way up to her chin. Why was William even here, and not some silly nurse? Surely there would be enough scolding done once she could get back to work, so why did he have to attack her like this when she already felt like crap, and... Wait.

_Why _was William here and not some silly nurse? Letting her eyes roam the infirmary, most of it turned out as little more than a blur because she was missing her glasses, but it was still enough for her to realise that they were the only two around. And it was so silent, it had to be night. And now when she thought back, hadn't William been straightening up before he started his scolding? And his hair, how could she not notice the slight mess it was in, when she would every day walk around missing that look he had stopped wearing after the Academy? Which meant he had been sitting by her side, waiting for her to wake up, long enough to fall asleep. And that wasn't even the best part. Because William had been sleeping _in the same bed_ as her. Well, sort of. It wasn't like Grell was going to care about such a small detail as William not actually being _in _the bed with her. She was halfway off the pillows once again before she fell back down with another hiss, having to close her eyes and catch her breath this time before being able to continue. But once she could, she looked up at William despite the lack of makeup, grinning just slightly and wanting nothing more than to launch herself into his lap.

"Have you been sitting here all this time while I was sleeping? Did you fall asleep in my bed?"

* * *

><p>As William suspected, Grell had been taken by surprise, which was the only acceptable explanation for his current state. Those pesky demons existed only to be trouble for every other creature, whether living or not. But William found some small relief in the fact that Grell had fought back and that for the most part, he had won the bout. He supposed it could have been worse. A <em>lot<em> worse. But that wasn't anything William liked thinking about. He had yet to lose any staff member to a demon on his watch thus far and he wasn't about to break that record now, and especially not with Grell Sutcliff, whom he considered his best fighter, though he would never admit that aloud.

But then the redhead tried to sit up again, failing as he had done so only a few moments before. Honestly... hadn't he learned that springing up from his bed wasn't going to work right now? What in the world had got him so excited now? Just as the question came to mind, he saw Grell's lips turning upwards into a grin and those eyes began twinkling up at him. _Oh no... _

"I brought you here after I found you in that pitiful condition. Honestly... And the only reason I stayed was so that I could scold you personally upon waking up. I know your strength better than most, so it was absolutely careless on your part to get hurt as badly as you did. Making me go look for you after hours..."

He began mumbling some of the same things he had muttered to Grell earlier while the redhead was unconscious.

"And I have no doubt that the demon took you by surprise, but I also have no doubt that you still could have gotten the upper hand in that battle if you hadn't been careless. Knowing you, you were probably having too much fun in that fight and sustained these unnecessary injuries as a result. And as much as your wounds are punishment enough for your lack of judgment, I'm sure you wouldn't have learned your lesson. Honestly... making me worry like that."

He paused for only a moment before addressing the last problematic portion of Grell's question.

"And before you get any ideas, I fell asleep _beside_ your bed, in this uncomfortable infirmary chair, not _in_ your bed."

* * *

><p>Perhaps what had happened was finally starting to catch up to her, perhaps she was beginning to realize somewhere far back in her head what luck she must've had to still be alive, if not quite kicking. Because while William kept talking, Grell couldn't stop grinning. She did waver a little every time he pointed out how badly she had fared in the battle, it was a rather terrible blow for her pride and ego considering she almost always came out victorious,. And yet, there were so many things William said that just proved that he liked her. Oh, <em>he<em> had been the only one to bother finding her when no one else had cared, even though he didn't have to, he had stayed for who knows _how_ many hours she had been asleep _just _to scold her, and how sexy didn't he look doing it. He complimented her on being strong, and... he had worried about her. And she didn't even need to make that up from the things he said, because he had actually said it.

"You worried about me, Will~? Did you really~?"

It was enough to make Grell wriggle with delight where she lay, and she did, with the accompanying whines and gasps to follow. She wondered briefly if she was making things worse for herself, prolonging her stay in the infirmary even, but then immediately dismissed the thought in favour of others... involving William being cute with his glasses off and hair ruffled, sleeping peacefully beside her on the pillow... never mind that it had not actually happened. Still, she wasn't going to give up so easily, not without at least trying to get William a bit riled up. And so she gave him a somewhat wicked smile, laying her uninjured hand on the bed where he had been sleeping.

"They're not ideas, William darling. You had your head _in _my bed, I saw it. Wasn't it all warm and comfy, so close to me~? You're welcome to join me again anytime you want, you know."

* * *

><p>Clearly none of his scolding got through with any clarity. In one ear and out the other, the only thing Grell seemed to care about was the fact that William had fallen asleep beside his bed and had shown some small smidgen of concern. Was it so impossible to get him to stay on track? Probably. And within five minutes Grell had that coy smile again, was calling him 'darling,' and was flirting impossibly again. Rolling his eyes in exasperation, William turned on his heel to leave the room.<p>

"Clearly I worried for nothing. You seem to be just fine."

Then walking firmly away from the redhead so that the both of them could get some proper rest, William decided to inform him of his relief of duty tomorrow. In the doorway, he paused, turning his head to throw back one final warning,

"I don't want to see you in here again, is that clear?"

* * *

><p>-Several years after that incident-<p>

William staggered into the infirmary, (his first visit in several years) clutching his arm, which was bleeding quite profusely. Demons really were quite the nasty little buggers. Always interfering with his work... honestly... Dripping blood onto the pristine white floors of the building, he collapsed heavily onto a chair in the waiting area, upon which a nurse quickly ushered him to a bed, concerned about the mess he was making.

It hadn't been a particularly difficult fight, the demon fought like all demons: stupidly. They were loud, overconfident, overzealous, and gave away their movements far too easily. Unfortunately, this one happened to be a quick little bastard and had managed to get in one fairly deep wound on William's arm before he could silence it with a snip to the throat. And afterwards, judging from his lightheadedness and the way the wound was boiling slightly, William had gathered that that particular insect was poisonous. But Death Gods were, for the most part, immune to poison. His system would clear it soon enough, but in the meantime, some of its effects were making him drowsy and more than a little clumsy. By the time the nurse had removed his shirt and got around to disinfecting his wound, it had already stopped bubbling but was still bleeding, as if fresh. Another nasty side effect, William supposed.

Another nurse sent a message to his department that he was in the infirmary as a mere status update so that none of them would go looking for him in London. The nurse who was tending to him however, seemed just a tad incompetent. Her fingers kept fidgeting and slipping and she kept glancing up at his face, her cheeks a bright red. Well, William supposed she had some reason to be embarrassed, the way she kept messing up and all. But he also had to admit that his wound was being rather problematic since it wouldn't stop bleeding. At this rate, even if she managed to bandage it properly, he would need a new one within another hour. When she finally managed to apply the antiseptic, William hissed at the slight stinging, and the sharp intake of breath nearly made him double over. Looking down, he could see a dark bruise just below his rib cage on his other side. Ah, so he had managed to fracture a rib too. Somehow he hadn't really noticed it before. Again, given half a day, he should be back to normal. But the nurse, who had also missed it, with another gasp of embarrassment, began to apologize profusely for not realizing his ribs before and began to lean him back on the pillows so that he was sitting up but not straight up. She seemed quite flustered to have to touch him in any way, and William wondered if it would be too rude to request a more competent nurse. Honestly... how did she expect to be able to treat people if she didn't want to touch bare skin?

* * *

><p>Grell yawned, spinning her red pen between her fingers where she sat at her desk, gazing down at the stack of papers without actually looking. She didn't know how many she had signed today, just that it felt like way too many, and yet the pile didn't seem to be smaller at all. But William was off reaping, so there was no one she could go talk to. She had tried to gossip a little with some, but they were either boring, or insisted on having work to do and no time. So Grell was stuck at her desk at the moment. Yawning again, she rested her head in one hand, glaring as some stressed secretary rushed by and dropped yet <em>another <em>paper on her desk. Really, what was it now? Couldn't she see that Grell was busy already? Huffing, she slammed her hand down on the paper and pulled it closer to read. But not until she came across her supervisor's name did she actually pay attention, and she went back to the beginning to read it all properly.

The red pen fell with a clatter to her desk, and she simply stared down at the paper for a few long, tense seconds, willing the words to somehow change, to become untrue. But of course that didn't happen, and Grell ran a hand along her own side, remembering the pain, the blood, those vicious claws. Now, she knew William was strong, that he had been unfortunate enough to deal with demons more times than she had, but maybe this demon had been even stronger than the one she had fought, too strong, even for William...

Grell was out of her chair so quickly she stumbled, leaving her coat and gloves behind as she ran towards the infirmary. Some looked up as she flew past their desks, and very few looked surprised, since they had all received the same message, and hadn't been unable to notice all the attention the redhead gave their supervisor. As she ran, she was picturing all kinds of horrible scenarios in her head, all of them involving a much too bloodied William on the brink of death, nearly shredded to pieces, maybe even with his death scythe through his heart or neck...

She was panicking by the time she threw the doors open and rushed into the infirmary, pushing the nurse who tried to stop her roughly out of the way. Her eyes found William, and while nowhere near as bad as she had imagined, she still gasped at the sight of his arm, covered in red, which for once wasn't a nice sight, and taking note of the pained expression on his face. Was he hurting because of the arm? Or was the nurse, _who was touching him_, apologizing for a reason? Grell only needed one look at her face to know what was going on in her mind, and while the blushing quite suited her, a bit more red surely would only improve her otherwise so very plain looks... Taking the few steps left up to William's bed, she yanked the nurse away by the arm, sending her stumbling away partly due to the force of the movement, and partly due to the venomous look she gave her, promising bloody murder. And then her expression softened at once, and she looked troubled and worried as she turned to William, raising a hand to touch his cheek without being able to help herself. She needed to reassure herself of that he was fine, or at least that he would be fine.

"Oh, William, I was so worried. You're going to be alright? What happened? Why hasn't that stopped bleeding yet? Really, these nurses, they can't do a thing right..."

* * *

><p>It would be a lie to say that William wasn't expecting Grell to barge into the infirmary after hearing about his demon encounter. However, he was somewhat taken aback by the way in which he did so. Even if she was somewhat incompetent, William hardly found it appropriate to shove her out of the way so violently as Grell just did. And then the redhead was leaning down in front of him, one hand gently cradling his cheek, and a look of genuine concern overtaking his features. William hadn't realized that Grell was even capable of such a thing. But this was the first time he had been injured since Grell had ever known him. Perhaps it gave him genuine cause for worry. And really, that wound really should have stopped bleeding by now. Not pulling away from Grell's touch, (somehow it was less uncomfortable than the nurse's) William stared at him steadily, trying to avoid rolling his eyes.<p>

"Honestly... Grell Sutcliff, that was rather rude. And there's no need to overreact, as you can see, it was just a scratch."

* * *

><p>Grell let out a sigh of relief. If William was well enough for the usual scoldings and cold facts, his injuries couldn't be all that bad, could they? And though it certainly didn't look like a scratch right now, she knew better than most that you didn't necessarily have to take someone's head off to make them bleed a lot... even though she wouldn't deny that she sometimes had fun doing that anyway. All the same, it was enough to have William end up in the infirmary, and so she was going to fuss about him whether he liked it or not. She had every reason to, and for once he couldn't use brute force to make her return to work. Though as another nurse approached, Grell allowed her to start tending to William's arm, mostly because she looked a little bit older than the previous one, and there was no trace of any blushing. She looked strictly professional, wearing a stern look not entirely different from the one William would sometimes have while working. Of course she didn't look attractive in the slightest while doing it, in contrast to William who just looked downright sexy. Grell removed her hand from William's face now, sitting down carefully on the edge of his bed while keeping one careful eye on the nurse, just in case. Still worried, and too shaken by the panic she had felt earlier to think straight, she gently grabbed William's hand, squeezing it slightly and even looking a bit upset as the nurse's tending clearly caused William some more pain.<p>

"Oh, I know what those demons can do. I wasn't overreacting. I'm just... glad you're still around~"

* * *

><p>William relaxed some when a much more experienced nurse came to properly tend to his wound. She dabbled a bit of some tonic that hissed painfully on his skin, but managed to stop the bleeding. Then she began wrapping it in a bandage and in the meantime, Grell had moved to sit beside him on the bed. William felt the slightest bit of surprise as Grell placed his hand over his own, squeezing gently yet urgently. The surprise was not because Grell was touching him, that was a regular occurrence. But for once, he truly seemed to be honest. Grell was usually playing mind games with William. Whether it was teasing or flirting, most of Grell's actions were only to get a rise out of him. None of it was genuine, William was sure. It was mostly all just a game to the other man. What buttons could he push, what were William's limits, that's what he was interested in. But right now, sitting beside him and holding his hand, this was genuine concern emitting from Grell, an honest concern for his well-being. William wasn't sure if such a display was accidental or not, but it was certainly drawing peculiar stares from the nurse.<p>

And when the nurse had finished wrapping William's arm, she gave him instructions to lie there in the hospital bed until his rib had healed, a process that would take 5-6 hours at least. She wanted him to stay put and not exacerbate himself. Once he felt that his rib had healed, he was free to go. So shifting his position slightly, he kicked off his shoes and lay himself down on the bed, and returned Grell's gesture, entwining their fingers slightly. He somehow felt it was the proper thing to do. He hoped it was reassuring.

"As you can see, I'm still here."

Leaning back against the pillows, he let out a pained sigh as he felt pangs in his ribcage and closed his eyes.

"And as soon as I get out of this bed, I'll be around to make sure you've finished your paperwork."

* * *

><p>Grell tilted her head a bit to the side as the nurse talked, and while not letting go of William with her eyes, she still seemed to actually listen attentively for once to what someone else said. And once the nurse mentioned the fractured rib, Grell's eyes darted down for a moment, and her grip on William's hand tightened a bit at the sight of the bruise. But five hours was quite a long time, and that did cheer her up a little. Of course it would've been better if William had never needed to be in the infirmary in the first place, but now when he was, she was going to make the most of it, even if it lead to overtime. And then William's hand took hers, and she dropped her gaze to their entwined fingers, and slowly realized that she had been the one to grab his hand first, that she had done so without thinking, that the way she was behaving was so unlike her usual self that it got stares from some of the nurses who had never thought that the dangerous Grell Sutcliff was capable of showing so much concern for anyone. And she stayed very still for a while, contemplating what to do. There was really no surprise in that it was William who had made her do such a thing. It was always William, and she was almost getting used to the frustration she felt every time he made her feel... Well, there were a lot of feelings involved. She didn't like thinking about just exactly what those feelings meant. But she couldn't pull her hand away now, in front of others. That would be awkward. Also, it was so very reassuring and calming after the panic and worry to feel William's warm hand in hers. And so for once, Grell allowed it. She allowed herself to smile at the touch and at William's words, a genuine, soft smile. Still, she hadn't completely lost it yet, and so just a little teasing was in order.<p>

"I'm sure you will. But until then, you're stuck here with me~"

* * *

><p>Stuck was definitely one way to put it. If Grell was going to now insist on staying with him in the infirmary while his ribs recovered, then William had no means of escaping or kicking him out forcibly, which meant that he truly was stuck. But as exhaustion was overtaking him and he felt his eyelids growing heavy, he felt that he could hardly be bothered. It wasn't as though the redhead would try to keep him awake... probably. There was also something about the warmth of their hands together. It was barely anything when it came to sharing body warmth, but it was somewhat comforting, and the calmness it made William feel was fastly putting him to sleep. The last image he saw as his vision faded to black was a head of bright red hair framing a pair of perfectly green eyes...<p> 


	4. The Breaking Point

**A/N**: This is a collaboration work, written by two different authors. It is taken from a series of roleplays I did with a friend. She writes for Grell, I write for William. You will notice the changes in points of view, and the changes will always be marked with a horizontal line. Reviews are always appreciated, please take note of our different writing styles and if possible, leave feedback for the both of us.

* * *

><p>-A FEW YEARS LATER-<p>

William had many strengths to his character. He was hardworking, he was motivated, he was diligent, efficient, he was many excellent things, but he wasn't very good with names. It had taken him almost half a year to learn the names of all of his dispatch members, and even longer than that to learn the names of some of the people in the library or in General Affairs. It soon became a habit to address everyone he knew by both their first and last names. It served as a mini reminder to himself of who everyone was.

But in the past few weeks, he had quickly learned the name of one particular secretary from General Affairs: Cassandra Evans. She was new to the London division, and he had met her on the General Affairs floor when he had been turning in some paperwork related to excessive property damage and mishandling of corpses. The extra paperwork was courtesy of Grell Sutcliff, of course, and it was during one of these frequent visits to GA that she had become a regular acquaintance. Very early on, she had asked for his name and which department he worked in. William thought her overly friendly, but not excessively so. Soon after she learned where he worked however, William had never needed to go down to the GA floor, because she consistently came up to the dispatch floor to drop off papers for him or check that he needed papers to be picked up. He wasn't sure if it was a new system employed by the department, but William could admit to appreciating the convenience of it.

At first she would come once every few days, but within a couple of weeks she had made it a habit to visit every single day, at the end of the workday around 5 PM. So as it was nearing that end of the work day toll and everyone was clocking out for the day, Cassandra knocked on his office door (now this was a plus, she actually knocked and waited for him to allow her entry), and William let her in. She was holding a small stack of papers for him and smiled brightly as he opened the door for her.

"Good afternoon, Mr. Spears. I hope you had a pleasant day today. These papers are for you, do you have any that I need to take down?"

Not that particular day, no. And when William told her this, she merely smiled politely once again and gave a small nod of her head in acknowledgment. Then she began to strike up a pleasant conversation as she usually did when she came by, and William half-listened to her as he flipped through the papers she had delivered. Truth be told, sometimes she talked a little too much in William's opinion. It was reminiscent of one particular redhead, and he really did tend to tune out about half of the things that she said, but he managed to do it without being overtly rude. Perhaps it was because he had had so much practice with Grell.

"You're always working so hard, I really do admire your incredible work ethic, sir. It's of course incredibly impressive that you could be a division manager at such a young age. But still, I think it'd be good if you took a break from time to time, sir. Too much stress isn't good for you, after all. There's a great chance for you to relax at this weekend's staff party. If you were interested, I would love to see you there."

* * *

><p>Grell's nails drummed against her desk. This earned her a few annoyed looks from the people working around her. She didn't care. Her eyes were narrowed, there was a dangerous scowl on her face, and she seemed tense where she sat, as if she were about to jump out of the chair, pull out her scythe and start a very bloody fight with someone. In fact, she dearly wished she could. She would have, if she didn't think doing so would give William a reason to throw her out of the office... permanently.<p>

But really, just who did she think she was? This Cassandra, with her sweet words and lovely curves and low-cut blouses and wavy blonde hair and tight skirts and high heels and... It positively sickened Grell. She had been around for only a few measly weeks at most, and she already had the nerve to flirt shamelessly like that. _With William_. She couldn't even be half his age! Not that such a thing usually mattered when you were immortal, but _still_. And every day she would come prancing into the office all prettied up with some silly papers, as if William couldn't just go and get them himself like he had always done. Although granted, as long as she came up with them, Grell could at least keep a closer eye on what she was doing. And she was really, really starting to get out of line.

By this point, Grell had lost count of how many years she had spent pining after her supervisor. She knew when it had started, she could almost pinpoint the moment she had lost that futile fight against her own feelings, and while she might have been able to figure out how many years it had been since their final exam, she didn't _want _to. Because it was pathetic. She was pathetic. She should have either given up long ago, or just taken what she wanted. But she hadn't, just because it was William. And when it came to him, absolutely nothing made sense. And she couldn't give up, not now. But if she took what she wanted, what would happen then? What if William pushed her away? Properly, not just out the door. What if he never wanted anything to do with her again?

And yet, what if she kept waiting and suffering in silence, kept being pathetic, if someone else managed to get his attention? What if Grell wasn't what William wanted, and couldn't be, no matter how much she wished otherwise? What if it was someone like Cassandra he desired? Someone with long, natural eyelashes, dainty shoulders and pretty curves. _What if_.

Grell stood up, her hands shaking slightly with the anger she tried to hold back. William had his eyes on the papers in his hands, Cassandra was busy watching his face. Grell sneaked closer, and then leaned back against the wall, close enough to hear what that sorry excuse for a real lady was saying. If she had been thinking straight, she might have realised that that would not help in keeping herself from tearing the woman to bloody shreds. Because she was asking William out. She was doing what Grell hadn't dared yet, after only a few weeks of knowing him. If you could even call it knowing. It wasn't like she had been through the Academy with him or saved him or held his hand or been offered his glove to keep warm or been taken care off by him after a nasty fight or sat beside him while he was recovering from some bad wounds...

Well, Grell couldn't very well kill her in the middle of the office. But all the same, she had to do _something_, before she went mad, or before William gave her an answer, and what if his answer was _yes, I would love to attend a party with a lady like you_...

"Excuse us for a moment."

Almost before Grell knew it herself, she was at William's side, one hand tightly grabbing his arm and throwing an ice cold, murderous glare towards Cassandra, the polite words almost a hiss. And then she dragged William properly inside his office, shoving Cassandra out of the doorway she had been standing in before releasing William, slamming the door shut and leaning back against it, face slightly flushed. She didn't look up at him. She couldn't. How was she going to explain what she had just done? She had panicked, yes, but for what reason? She couldn't tell him _that_.

* * *

><p>William had vaguely been listening to Cassandra's rambles, but his ears recognized the familiar invitation to a weekend staff party. He got notices for those on his desk quite frequently and he had only been to a couple, if only to have a stiff drink then leave. Parties weren't really his type of atmosphere. Too loud, too crowded, and usually full of death gods who were much too drunk. He was just about to open his mouth to decline her offer when he felt Grell Sutcliff's vice-like grip on his arm and soon he was being dragged into his office.<p>

Grell slammed the door shut behind him, leaning against it and then finding sudden extreme interest in the floor. Honestly... what was it now? William knew that Grell had these moments of emotional instability, but they always seemed to pop up at the most inconvenient times. Sometimes Grell got the urge to just kill and see red everywhere he could so he would pick fights around the office just because. Most of the arguments were with other women in different departments, and William would usually have to stop him. There were even a few times when Grell would seem embarrassed or bashful (very rarely, mind you), and then would either lash out or run away from the office, hiding at home and refusing to come back to work. William wasn't sure which of the moods Grell was in this time, the pattern didn't fit exactly with any previous occasion. Just in case, he had his hand ready to summon his death scythe if needed.

Eyeing the redhead carefully, William put the papers on his desk and let out an exasperated sigh as he stood beside it.

"Honestly... what is it now?"

* * *

><p>Grell had half a mind to yank the door open again, run outside, and kill that woman on the spot. Cassandra wouldn't know what had hit her, and if she were fast enough, William might not be able to stop her either. And while doing it wouldn't exactly calm her down, it would get her out of this situation. William would be too busy being furious to care about what had happened before the killing, and all that blood would be somewhat comforting...<p>

"What were you going to tell her? About the party."

Once again, she did something without thinking, and immediately regretted the question. She didn't want to hear the answer. She shouldn't even care. But she did, and it was frustrating, and she found her hand going to the door handle. It would be a distraction. And Cassandra certainly deserved it, flirting with William like that...

She wrenched the door back open, furious eyes finding the retreating back of the blonde woman at once, smirking at how easy it would be. One arm around her neck, pinning her in place, the other one holding the death scythe. Maybe she would whisper something in her ear just before digging the blade into her skin. Grell set off, paying no attention to anyone else than her target, throwing her hand out to catch the handle of her scythe as it appeared.

* * *

><p>Instead of receiving an answer to his question, all he got was another question. A completely off-topic question at that. What in the world did it matter what he was going to say? In any case, Grell of all people should have realized what his answer would be. William never went to these gatherings, despite their frequency, and he wasn't even sure why Grell cared if he did. Well, he supposed he would care enough to come to the party as well and spend the whole evening draping himself all over him, but aside from that, he wasn't sure why it mattered so much now. In any case, he was about to open his mouth and answer the question, however irrelevant, when Grell suddenly opened the door and left, just as quickly as they had entered.<p>

William might have left the redhead exit alone if he didn't catch a glimpse of murder in those green eyes and looking out of his office, he saw Grell stomping down the hallway, death scythe in hand.

_Honestly..._

Summoning his death scythe, William ran to catch up with the redhead and upon reaching him, grasped his arm very, VERY firmly. Turning the redhead sharply around, he looked at him sternly and began to scold him with his glare alone. It had been a few months since Grell's last outburst, and he had been more than enjoying the peace. Whatever he was upset about, whatever had irked him, he would have to find another outlet for those frustrations instead of taking his saw to whomever he could find.

"Enough."

* * *

><p>Grell's thoughts were abruptly cut off as someone caught up to her, catching her off guard and grabbing her arm. It could only be William. She could tell even before he forced her around so quickly she stumbled, and she knew it was useless to attempt and wrench herself out of his grip, even though she tried. And as she really had no choice but to meet those cold eyes, she tried to make her own defiant and angry, grip tightening around her death scythe. And at that one word, Grell wanted nothing but to run again. But she couldn't, not this time. William wasn't going to let her leave, not when she had just tried to kill someone. And she didn't have enough sense to get rid of her scythe either, something that might have helped her escape.<p>

She was all too aware of the stares they were getting. Because once again, Grell Sutcliff was there to provide a break in the office workers' mundane schedules, and while she usually didn't mind making a scene, this time she could feel her act slipping, and she didn't want anyone seeing that. She wouldn't allow it. Except maybe William. There was a small, nagging thought in her head saying that _maybe _he wouldn't dislike her because of it. He hadn't done when he had seen her without makeup or covered in mud. And his office was the closest escape. And yet, that didn't make it any less scary. Once she was back in there, what was she going to say? Just the thought of being honest, completely honest...

Perhaps it was visible in her her eyes, how terrified she suddenly was. But relaxing just a bit in William's grip, she lowered her gaze a little, enough for him to notice but hopefully no one else, hoping he would somehow save at least a bit of her pride by insisting she followed him back into his office.

* * *

><p>At least this time Grell actually stopped his rampage instead of then turning his rage onto William, which happened sometimes. His staff had gotten somewhat used to the outbursts, many of them didn't even bother looking in their direction but instead just kept on going about their business and doing their paperwork as usual. And thankfully, today wasn't one of those days where he would have to fill out extra paperwork for destruction of company property. One time when Grell had had an outburst, several desks had been destroyed by that chain scythe before William could finally pin him down into submission.<p>

But he caught a glimpse of something in Grell's eyes before he lowered that gaze. He wasn't sure what it was. Penance, perhaps? But that seemed too good to be true. Seizing the chance while Grell was calm, William dragged him into his office, locking the door behind them and seating him on the chair somewhat roughly. Not putting his death scythe away but leaning it carefully against his desk, William sat down in the chair across from him and folded his hands together on the desk.

"What is it now?"

Sometimes, Grell would talk to him about why he was upset. Not a lot, it was really only ever snippets, but snippets were better than nothing. William was trying, he was actually trying, to understand what in Grell's psyche made him go off like that every so often. So far, he had been rather unsuccessful at deciphering the exact reasons, he wasn't sure if he ever could, in all honesty. But he felt that it was worth trying sometimes.

So far in their years together, William had learned of Grell's strange obsession with the color red. Who knew why, really, but it partially explained some of his murderous tendencies. He had learned, well, he had always known that Grell wasn't particularly emotionally stable. But truth be told, none of them really were. Grell was just more far gone than most. Most interestingly, he had learned of Grell's desire to be a woman. He knew the least about this particular nuance of Grell's character for the redhead didn't like talking about it much. But in addition to his flamboyant behavior, his clothes, his manner of speech, there was one time when Grell had mentioned in all seriousness that his body had been a mistake made by some cruel God to torment him. They had been on assignment reaping a young woman and Grell had mentioned her appearance, her curves, her lashes, her dainty shoulders, and William had wondered briefly if perhaps Grell was attracted to her. But as it turned out, he had only been envious of what he felt should have been his.

It was something William couldn't understand. Perhaps he was old-fashioned, perhaps he just wasn't as open-minded. But he couldn't understand how someone could feel like they lacked what they never had. He didn't understand how Grell could believe that he was meant to be a woman, that he was a woman inside despite how his body was shaped. How could someone think that they were meant to be something they had never been? How would you know what you were missing, how could you be so uncomfortable with what you had always had? William hadn't really taken the time to try and wrap his head around the concept, mostly because he couldn't get Grell to talk about it. He wasn't even sure if he could even if he tried.

He wondered if that had been the case today because Cassandra had dropped by.

* * *

><p>Grell allowed herself a moment of relief as William did pull her along instead of leaving her standing. It was a very short moment though, and she soon felt herself trembling again, and this time it was not out of anger. She almost jumped as the door closed, and was then <em>locked<em>, and William nearly forced her down into the chair in front of his desk, to then walk around it and sit down while being all business, like this was just another one of those times when he brought her into the office for a scolding about some bloody case that had caused _too _much paperwork...

Oh god, she really hated feeling scared. It was an uncontrollable feeling that tended to only get worse if you thought about it. She didn't get scared a lot, which probably only made it worse the few times it happened. But this seemed like another kind of fear than what she had experienced before. Because there were no threat of dangerous fights with some strong creatures, and no one was badly hurt, it was just her and William and words that had to be said. And Grell couldn't. She didn't know how, and she was scared of what would happen if she started talking.

In the end, as she felt those damn tears threatening to spill over again, she dropped her death scythe to the floor and leaned forward to rest her head against the desk and hiding her face, almost wailing. It wasn't like her, being defeated by something so sentimental and cliché as _love_. And she had tried to deny it for so long, but then after that one time she had spent with William in the infirmary after he had been injured, watching his peaceful face as he slept, feeling the warmth of his hand in hers... She had just been sitting there, completely still until a nurse had approached and tentatively asked her is she was asleep. And she had looked up, feeling confused and disoriented, not realizing then that she had just lost a battle that had been going on since her final exam. Not until she got home did she realize that no matter what she did, she couldn't stop thinking about William and all those _what ifs..._ that was when she started to realize what was going on. She hadn't been to work the day after that, and once William came to find out why, it had only gotten worse. It had taken her a week before she could function and act somewhat normal around him at all. And now... she was probably going to throw away all those years of effort. Because somehow, she couldn't stand it anymore. Somehow, Cassandra, the thought of competition she just wouldn't be able to win against, all of it now made it unbearable. And so, she gave up. She stopped struggling and allowed it to happen. Raising her head slightly from the desk, she locked eyes with William, her own still scared and slightly shiny.

"I'll _show_ you."

She still couldn't get the actual words past her lips. She stood, slowly, eyes downcast and head bowed so that her hair hid most of her face. Stepping over her scythe, she moved around the desk in a way she hoped clearly showed she wasn't going to pick a fight. If William interrupted her _now_, she would definitely run. And once she was close enough, she sighed and closed her eyes for a moment. Then, quick enough for William to hopefully not be able to pull away, she leaned down and pressed her lips to his.

* * *

><p>William was shocked. He had seen Grell upset. He had seen him as an enraged, murderous, dangerous creature with a scythe. But he had never seen Grell as this kind of upset. He had never seen those green eyes well up with tears instead of irritation, and he had never seen him so hopelessly drop his scythe as opposed to gripping it more tightly only to charge soon thereafter. None of this was usual, and it was all wrong. William expected anger, madness, blood. He knew how to handle those outbursts. He knew that the perfect counter to fury was calm and he knew how to counter every blow and swinging thrust from that scythe. He knew what to do to calm Grell's madness.<p>

He had absolutely no idea what to do with tears. William himself couldn't remember that he had ever cried. It had been decades if he had. He couldn't remember what most strong emotions felt like, he wasn't even sure if he had even experienced them all. He didn't know what sadness felt like, or hopelessness, or extreme joy, or even anger. Certainly he got irritated. He was irritated every time Grell Sutcliff entered his office without knocking. He was irritated every time pesky demons got in the way of his work. He was irritated to death of being overworked and underpaid and the overtime that came with the bureaucratic nonsense he had to deal with every day as management, but any emotion outside of that was a complete and utter mystery.

He saw Grell weeping before him on his desk, his back hunched over and his face hidden in his hands and William felt a tug of sympathy. He hadn't felt that since they had to reap Thomas' soul and he had been forced to witness the painful struggle of human life. But he wasn't sure what he could say. He didn't even know why Grell was so upset.

But then as Grell got up and moved around his desk, and William watched him carefully, for some reason he sat still. Somehow he knew that Grell wasn't going to hurt him. His death scythe was halfway across the office on the floor, abandoned, and nothing in his posture or movements indicated any form of approaching hostility or promise of death. But then when Grell put his lips on his own...

William moved on impulse. He grabbed Grell's shoulders and immediately pushed him away, his eyes wide and his breath coming in panicked gasps. He felt his heart racing at a million miles a minute. And he understood none of it. He was confused, he was scared, he was all but about to go insane, he didn't know what any of it meant. He had never felt panic like this, even in the most difficult of fights with demons where his life was in danger. He had never felt such confusion, even as that time when he had been attacked by Thomas' cinematic record. And looking into Grell's sorrowful green eyes, he couldn't understand anything that he saw there. He never had. But it wasn't anger, it wasn't envy, and it wasn't all sadness.

And all William knew with any certainty was that he needed to get away from that moment, that situation. His office was stifling, Grell's body was much too close, his own racing heart he wanted to pull out of his chest and toss it out the window. Letting go of Grell's shoulders, he stood up abruptly and left without looking back. He managed to mumble a quick,

"Excuse me,"

before he was out of the door, never mind that it was his office and that Grell was the one he should have ordered to leave. Walking swiftly down the halls, his own shoes clacking loudly, too loudly, on the tile floors, he rushed into a nearby men's lavatory and bent his head over the sink, trying to calm his breathing. Once his heart stopped racing, he felt sure he could rationalize things, as he always did. He just needed to calm down. He just needed to... not see _red_.

* * *

><p>Grell felt very aware of everything that happened, every little detail. She had closed her eyes once she had found his lips at last, after so many, many years of wanting to do just that. And while it wasn't even much of a kiss, it was still perfect, for one wonderful little moment. And then once she felt William's hands on her shoulders, for one second, she somehow dared to hope it was to pull her closer, to accept her.<p>

But then she was pushed _away_. She opened her eyes again, looking up at William, and for a moment, she couldn't comprehend what was happening. Maybe she didn't want to. Slowly, at least it felt like that to her, she became aware of the painful way her heart seemed to be trying to beat its way out of her chest, the irregular, panicked way she was breathing in. And she couldn't figure out what William's expression meant, too caught up in her own confused emotions to be able to. Something hurt, and it was unlike any pain she had ever felt before. A kind of tearing threatening to rip her apart, and while she didn't scream or writhe in agony, she found herself wishing it could have been that demon and its claws again. And she swayed where she stood as she realised what was happening. William had rejected her. He didn't want her, after all. Of course not.

_William was leaving._

As soon as the door closed, Grell fell to the floor, wrapped her arms around herself and cried like she had never cried before. It wasn't like she had never felt sad in her life, about herself, how she sometimes felt all wrong and insecure and not all that beautiful. Sometimes she had felt sad about William too. It had been many, many years she had been trying to get his attention, after all. But nothing had felt like this. And all those years, wasted. Maybe it wasn't all that long for an immortal, but it had been a long fight for Grell.

She knew she couldn't stay there. She wasn't going to keep doing this. She couldn't do that, not to herself, and not to William. Slowly, she fought her way to her feet, digging one hand into her pocket and taking out a small mirror. Any other day, the face staring back at her from it would have upset her, but now she just raised a hand and wiped the black lines off her face with the coat, removing the fake eyelashes that were coming off due to the tears. She looked hideous. It wasn't all that odd that William didn't want her, was it? Another sob escaped her then, and she shook her head. _Her_. Even that was wrong, wasn't it? And as much as she tried, she couldn't fix that.

Holding her breath to try and stop the tears, it still took her a while to calm down enough to dare leave the room. Paying no thought to her abandoned scythe, she left in a hurry, desperately fighting to keep her face empty of emotions and seemingly very interested in the floor in hopes of that no one would notice the messy makeup. And once she finally reached her apartment, she quickly closed the door and leaned back against it, closing her eyes and immediately feeling more tears fall down her cheeks.

Moving forward, eyes darting around the room as if looking for some kind of escape, as if there was something that could have saved her from her own feelings, she eventually just stumbled out of her heels and struggled to get her clothes off. Then wrapping herself in a soft, red dressing gown, she fell down on top of the bed, wishing sleep would come quickly, though she highly doubted it. After all, there was the fear of her dreams maybe being about William.

* * *

><p>It had been five days. Nobody had seen hide nor hair of Grell Sutcliff in the office. He hadn't called in sick, he hadn't requested vacation leave, he had just... not shown up. If anyone dared ask William Spears about it, they were given immediate, unexplained overtime, a generous portion of Grell's work that needed to be reassigned, and then thrown out of his office.<p>

For William, the past five days had been... unbearably quiet. The daily interruptions into his office had ceased, he could peacefully do his work without interruption. The only problem was that he couldn't work. He couldn't focus. For the past five days he had barely slept, he had lost all of his appetite, and try as he might to not think about the redhead, Grell was the only thing consistently pervading his thoughts. The calm he had sought out five nights ago had been impossible. Even if he had managed to stop his panicked breathing and wide-eyed look of terror by now, he was still terribly, horribly confused.

Looking at the clock and seeing that it was time to leave but knowing that he had barely dented his paperwork, he resigned himself to another day of overtime, and very likely, another sleepless night. But not before he took a break of some sort. Leaving his stifling, stuffy office, he went to grab a drink from the nearby water fountain, ruffling his hair somewhat so that his bangs fell forward into his face instead of being tucked back. It was after hours and he needed to be just himself in order to think properly. He needed to not be William T. Spears, supervisor of the London division of reapers, he just needed to be William. Heaving heavy sighs from his chest, he returned to his office to see the stacks of paperwork, his empty chair... the chair that Grell had... kissed him in.

He could feel the choking feeling rising to his throat even as he thought about that night. The feeling of their lips touching, the softness, the warmth, the smell of roses... even though it had only lasted a moment, even though he had pushed him away almost immediately, that moment had been so vivid, William couldn't erase it from his mind. More than the kiss, the look that Grell had given him before and after doing it... the expression in those green eyes. It made William feel a tight, constricting pain in his chest and he didn't know what to do with it. All he knew was that it was Grell's fault. And that for some reason, not seeing him for five days had only made it worse, not better. He had expected it to subside, to go away if Grell wasn't there. He thought that once his initial panic had subsided that he could return to some semblance of normalcy and that they could just pretend that it had never happened. It was just more of Grell's excessive flirting, it was just a moment in time, nothing more.

Honestly...

He had had enough. Decades of games, teases, subtle and not-so-subtle hints, flirts, glances, touches, no more. One way or another, he was going to get a straight answer from the redhead. It was clear he couldn't get through this on his own without some explanation.

Charging into the records department, he quickly looked up Grell's address from his personnel file, and left the office, his overtime paperwork forgotten. Grell only lived a few blocks away from him, and once he got to his damned door in his damned apartment, William banged on the door three firm knocks.

* * *

><p>Grell was a wreck. For five days, she had hardly eaten, slept only once she more or less fainted from exhaustion, only to then wake up again an hour or so later, head pounding from both the lack of sleep and odd dreams where she would for ages walk through the endless, empty white corridors of her workplace, looking for someone she could never find. She hadn't bothered with makeup, knowing she would end up crying and ruin it anyway, and while she had made the effort to take a brush to her hair once or twice, it was still far from the soft, well-tended but deliberately messy way she usually wore it in. It was now completely unstyled, hanging slightly tangled all over her shoulders and back. Neither had she bothered getting dressed, instead spending her days in one of her red nightgowns with the soft dressing gown on top of it. Not even her nails were painted, since once the colour had started coming off, she had just gotten rid of it all entirely.<p>

She had been trying really hard not to think about William, and had not been particularly successful. It was just like that time she had spent with him in the infirmary, only much, much worse, because it hurt so much more this time. She was, however, trying to convince herself that it would get better, that she wasn't going to stay in this apartment forever. She would be going back to work eventually. Once she could sleep properly again, and once she didn't spent the majority of the day crying. She still wasn't going to let anyone see her like that.

As she heard the knocks on the door, she was on the bed, in one of those rare, blissful moments of sleep where she didn't have to think at all, even though she would wake up and feel just as bad as when she had first collapsed on the bed. But she wasn't about to do that yet, and instead she just whined at the annoying sound, turning around and burying her head in the red blankets that she hadn't even bothered to pull over herself. And it completely escaped her mind that five days ago, when she had arrived at her home after the horrible rejection, she had never bothered to lock the door.

* * *

><p>He knocked three times to no answer. Then he knocked three more times to still no answer. Another three knocks and he was starting to get impatient. A normal person might have given up by now, but William was sure that Grell was inside and he was not leaving until he got what he wanted out of the redhead. Trying his luck on the door knob, he found that it opened with no resistance. Grell had left it unlocked. Whether on purpose or not he wasn't sure, but he stepped into the apartment, and took a moment to look around his surroundings. The apartment was, unsurprisingly, flooded with red. And on top of that, it was a complete mess. Perhaps that had something to do with the fact that Grell had been home for five days without going to work, but really... his work clothes were strewn across the floor and on the couch, several crumpled tissues littered the carpet... From a room around the corner from the kitchen he heard a shuffling noise. It sounded like someone on a bed, and he knew that Grell would be in there.<p>

Now that he was inside the apartment, all William had to do was walk less than twenty feet in that direction and he would be face to face with the redhead once again and could get all the answers he needed. But now... he found himself hesitating once again. And he never hesitated. He wasn't the type of man to be so uncertain, but there it was. He was always uncertain when it came to Grell. It really couldn't be helped.

For the first time in his life, he felt nervous and unsure and... guilty. For the first time in five days he considered the fact that Grell hadn't come in to work because he was perhaps just as confused and frustrated as he had been. That maybe he hadn't been playing hooky just because he was lazy, but because he was distraught as well. Sighing heavily, he forced his feet to move and walked into Grell's bedroom, where the light was peeking in slightly from the sheer red curtains, and he found a mass of red hair buried between red blankets and pillows on the bed. Grell wasn't even covered in the blankets, he was just lying on top of them with his face buried in them, wearing a long red night gown. Honestly... he wasn't even sleeping properly.

Grell didn't seem to have noticed William's presence in his room, standing over him beside the bed, so William cleared his throat to get the redhead's attention. As he stood there, in another moment he noticed a few more troubling things and sighed. He was under the impression that both of them had been severely sleep deprived and malnourished these past five days. Grell looked as though he had lost some weight even. William knew that when he looked in the mirror in the past few mornings he could see bags under his own eyes. Honestly...

* * *

><p>Grell whined again, turning her head slightly and groaning as the light from behind the curtains hit her face, not really asleep anymore but not fully awake either. It would usually take her a while, and not until the suffocating pain in her chest and pounding headache had fully returned, accompanied by the now very familiar sting of tears in her eyes, would she be somewhat awake. Enough to think about William again, and enough to remember those distressing, pointless dreams. Enough to just want to go back to sleep, but also knowing she wouldn't be able to.<p>

And once she opened her eyes, they were already tearing up, and as always she found herself wondering how it was even possible to cry so much as she had done lately. She certainly had never done it before. And as she raised a hand to her face to get rid of the tears, she suddenly froze, noticing the odd shadow falling across the bed. Her vision was somewhat blurry without glasses, which she hadn't bothered to put on for a few days either, after realising she had picked them out along with William all those years ago, but she knew at once it was a person standing by her bed. As if that wasn't enough to scare her half to death, that she immediately knew just who it was didn't help at all.

What should have come out as a scream was more of a broken, distressed wailing, and she fought to get her tired, shocked body to move, head spinning as she sat up too fast. Pulling the blankets up around her and clutching at them as if they could somehow protect her, her wide, bewildered eyes never left William's face, a thousand thoughts flying through her head at once and doing nothing to improve her headache. _What was he doing here? Why was he here? What did he want? Why couldn't he leave her alone?_ If she should ever have any chance or recovering, he would have to stay away... But oh, how glad she was to see him again. Even though it hurt, even though she felt terrified, even though her own reactions still appalled her...

And Grell was not thinking straight, if at all. If she had ever been even a bit sane to begin with, there was no trace of that left now, not after five days of being all alone and driving herself mad with the tears and despairing and without proper sleep and food. And just as her instincts had told her to pull away and take cover when she first noticed him suddenly just standing there, she just acted without thinking once again, not caring about the consequences and about what would happen if William pushed her away again.

Letting go of the blankets, she nearly threw herself across the bed, back to the edge by which William was standing, and reached up to grab his blazer, trying to pull him closer. Entwining her fingers into his clothes, she then buried her face in them as well, craving the warmth and the contact, and not caring one bit how pathetic or childish it may seem.

* * *

><p>At first, Grell seemed as though all he wanted to do was run and hide, like William had done. He looked at him with fear in those swollen green eyes, clutching his blankets like they were a lifeline, and William felt a pang of sympathy once again. Whatever trouble he thought that he had had these past five days was clearly nothing to what Grell had been putting himself through. But before he could open his mouth to speak and give Grell a piece of his mind as he had intended, the redhead flew towards him across the bed, grabbing his blazer and burying his face against them. He could feel the weakness in Grell's fingers as he clutched at them, could feel moisture seeping through his vest.<p>

William put his hands on Grell's shoulders, repeating his actions of five days ago, thinking that he should push the redhead away again if they were going to speak properly. But once his hands grabbed hold of that delicate frame, felt how he could have crushed it, Grell had become so tired and worn, he couldn't bring himself to. Logic argued that he should push him away. That he needed to speak with Grell properly in order to get anything resolved. That if they held onto each other it would only be more confusing and difficult.

But another part of his mind, a part he was unfamiliar with, a part that he had never known to exist until recently spoke out against it with every fiber of its being, telling William that it wasn't just Grell, William needed the contact too after what he had been through.

Letting out another sigh, William began to speak, Grell's face still pressed against him and his hands on Grell's shoulders keeping the redhead steady.

"You owe me an explanation."

His grip on Grell's shoulders began to tighten.

"Explain to me what sorcery you used to do this to me. I can't think properly, I can't focus at work, and I feel- Well that's just it, I don't know what I feel. I'm not used to feeling so much. But for the past five days I think I've been unbelievably angry at you for a myriad of petty, stupid reasons and that I never want to see you again, but then every time I blink I see your face and this stupid red hair and your ridiculous grin. I can't sleep because I hear your voice in my ear telling me your usual teases and flirts that were never supposed to mean anything. And I'm... frustrated and tired and all I want is a straight explanation from you. Honesty. I just want you to be straight with me. And then I need you to explain to me what it is that's going on inside of me that feels like a crushing weight is in my chest whenever I think about you."

* * *

><p>It was five days ago all over again, and this time, Grell had no hopes. She was resigned to the fact that William would push her away, sending her even deeper into misery. But knowing it still didn't make it hurt any less.<p>

But then there was a sigh, and those hands didn't disappear, the grip instead turning almost supportive, and then even tightening as William began to speak. Grell didn't understand, and while she deep down knew it would only be even worse once he let go if she stayed where she was, she couldn't move. She could only listen, making the effort of silencing her own sobbing, though the tears kept coming, even more as she heard just what was being said. And she could hardly believe it, even finding herself wondering if she was still dreaming. But the tears and the pain and this warmth proved she wasn't.

William's words were everything she had felt and everything she could never quite put into words. But she still thought she knew what it was, what it meant, even though the fact that William was standing here saying them, about himself, almost made her think that maybe they had another meaning entirely. And yet, she knew one thing clearly, that she loved William and had no means of fighting it anymore. But he couldn't possibly be telling her he felt the same. He had always pushed her away, and five days ago, he had...

Well, he did seem to get flustered occasionally by her advances. And he was saying he had never thought those meant anything, when they had meant _everything_, because it was the only way Grell knew how to get that kind of attention. She could talk, she could rant and gossip forever without anyone being able to stop her, but speaking about herself and her own feelings, that was hard. Besides, she had never been in love before. She didn't actually know how you told someone such a thing, and since she hadn't even wanted to be in love in the first place... There were those three words that people in romantic books and movies and plays always used, but they seemed so overused, but at the same time so intense and final that it was scary. And while Grell knew she did love William, knew she wanted him, commitment scared her. She knew how easily she could get bored, and while all the years she had already liked him told her she wouldn't let him go if she could get him, Grell still needed a certain freedom.

But William was demanding an explanation, an honest one, and she couldn't think of anything more straightforward than those words. And so she forced her unused voice to work, mumbling against his clothes without letting go or looking up, and still crying, angry at herself for daring to hope again, and angry at William for giving her that hope.

"I love you. Ever since that damn exam, though I didn't realise it until you were hurt. I didn't want to, because I... I couldn't control it, it just happened, but I couldn't stop either. And all that, that you just said, I... know exactly how it feels. I can't stop thinking about you either. And it hurts. It always hurts, but not so much... when you're around."

* * *

><p>Even before Grell started speaking, William felt as though he knew what the redhead was going to say. But even if he was half-expecting, he still didn't know how he would have responded. All he knew was that that knotted feeling in his chest wasn't going away, but it was getting... warmer. It was still... heavy, but all of a sudden it was so much more manageable. And somehow... William felt the smallest traces of a smile beginning to curve his lips, though he didn't let it get very far.<p>

Perhaps what surprised him more than anything else was the fact that he actually managed to get Grell to be straight-forward with him. He had asked for the truth and Grell let it all out, showed all his cards, so to speak. And William knew that that took a certain level of trust. And all of a sudden there was nothing but relief. All the tension that he had been holding in for the past week was released in a moment and suddenly he felt all the things he hadn't been able to feel for the past week. He felt tired, he felt hungry, but more than that he felt... happy. And William couldn't remember the last time he had felt anything like happiness. And he didn't really know why or how. But Grell's words had truly calmed him.

With his hands still on Grell's shoulders, he pulled the redhead gently away from him to lay him back down on the bed. They both desperately needed sleep, that was for sure. And now that that was all settled and William could feel his limbs growing heavy with exhaustion, he knew that it would finally be time for them to get some much needed rest. Removing his blazer, vest, and tie, he crawled into the bed besides Grell, not even bothering to ask. Grell had intruded on him and his personal space for decades. The least he could do was offer half of the giant bed so that William could get some much needed shut-eye.

Wrapping one arm around Grell's waist so that their bodies were embracing in the bed, William quickly fell asleep, thinking that the shared warmth was incredible, natural, and that it was something he could get used to very quickly.

* * *

><p>Grell kept crying as William did push her away after all, and while she wasn't surprised, and despite that for some reason, his hands stayed on her shoulders, she still gave him a frightened, despairing look. She was so scared of what would happen and what she would feel once he left that for a moment, she couldn't think of anything else.<p>

Then there was slight confusion, as his hands pushed her back down on the bed, and she allowed it, failing to see a reason to protest, and lacking the energy to do it in the first place. And it felt nice, almost as if William was trying to take care of her. And she really needed to stop thinking about things like that... Shaking her head at her own thoughts, her eyes then went wide at the soft sound of clothes being removed, and she looked up in time to see William drop his waistcoat and tie to the floor. And once he moved into the bed, even crawling up to her, she was still staring, and almost looking scared again. He was so close, and while Grell was no stranger to being close to William, she would usually be the one taking the initiative.

She made a small, startled sound as William put an arm around her waist and pulled himself even closer. And then he just closed his eyes, seemingly falling asleep, and while Grell still craved the contact and the warmth, it just seemed too good to be true. She could almost imagine William disappearing if she blinked, but when she tried, it didn't happen, and she was so happy about that it was almost overwhelming. She couldn't make sense of it, and in the end it only made her exhausted head hurt even more. In the end, she closed her eyes and tried to not think too much, and while it was hard, she soon drifted off to sleep anyway.

For once, she didn't dream at all. But she didn't get much sleep either. As the hours went by, she would wake up again and again, eyes immediately wide open and desperately seeking William's face, every time terrified that he would be gone. And no matter how many times she would open her eyes and still find him there, she would be just as scared the next time she woke up. And as the light on the other side of the curtains grew stronger and stronger, until the morning sun peeked through and lit up William's face, Grell felt more and more exhausted every time she woke up. Not to mention she was starving. But she didn't dare to move even an inch. What if William would just leave the moment he woke up? What if he had just decided to sleep in her bed because he was so tired he couldn't be bothered to return to his apartment? Really, that was a ridiculous thing to do, especially for him, but he _had _blamed her for not getting any sleep.


End file.
